


The Effect of Impact on Stationary Objects

by midnightflame



Series: The Lives We Want [2]
Category: Free!, Naruto
Genre: ANBU life, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Biting, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Drunk Sex, M/M, Marking, Multi, Ninja violence, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love, bloodline angst, weighty expectations of sole surviving bloodline member
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:44:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightflame/pseuds/midnightflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After returning to Konoha, Sasuke had spent the last several years trying to live up to newly planted expectations. Rin would have rather seen him live the life he wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [recessional](https://archiveofourown.org/users/recessional/gifts).



> So, what started as a side RP AU project has led me to this. Because I kind of loved them together and I wanted to put something out here for recessional that we could both enjoy. This is as much hers as it is mine.

Prologue

_“So, rumor has it that your fireball is the biggest Konoha has ever seen. Were they all talking shit?”_

_There had been something almost arrogant in the way Rin had stood there, grin welcoming while threatening all in the same breath. Red eyes bright with challenge. . .the sort inspired by a little too much to drink. But, Sasuke had imagined that courage of that sort was often what many found they needed to approach him in the off-duty hours. After all, Naruto’s words of reassurance and his own rectifying deeds couldn’t quite erase the memory of betrayal he had left etched into Konoha’s memory. For some at least. If nothing else, the rumors of his abilities and a personality carved of ice had been more than enough to shake a fair bit more than a touch of fear into some hearts._

_Still, that Rin would just waltz up with those words as his opening line. . .Sasuke couldn’t help letting loose a small huff of amusement, lips curling into a faint smirk._

_“Are you sure it’s the size of my katon you’re interested in, Rin?"_

This is certainly a first, though one won’t hear Uchiha Sasuke admitting to that freely. Rather, he imagines the knowledge is something ingrained in the minds of those who resided in Konoha, much like they all knew about the scarlet path his brother had cut through their bloodline, how he had further tarnished the reputation of his clan by defecting, like how he remains the most unapproachable nin in the village because there are simply some shadows better left undisturbed. Not that it doesn’t stop anyone from talking about him and all his supposed issues. Nor does it squash the ideas that despite his at best surly (and at worst outright vicious in its chill) demeanor he is somehow the most desirable bachelor in the entire village. He reasons that remains because Sakura already has her hooks in Naruto, much to his pleasure, and Sasuke being the last remaining man of a once illustrious clan is more than enough to spark a few hopes and daring dreams. After all, who wouldn’t want to go down in history as the one who helped revive the Sharingan?

Yet, while there isn’t enough poison in his reputation to stop many from wanting a drink, it gives them plenty enough pause when it comes to taking the first few sips. He considers it a small mercy if nothing else.

It’s a thought that ghosts along the periphery of his mind, adding a bit of irony to the humor he feels at his current situation. Namely, that he is staring down one of his newest ANBU recruits on the eve of said recruit’s official induction all while being straddled on the edge of his bed. Rin had insisted upon that, something about the wall not being an ideal place for fucking, even if he hadn’t quite put it that way. Sasuke isn’t about to go kidding himself on this current topic. Especially not with Rin already stripped to his pants, his lips swollen from everything Sasuke had thought was well within the realm of acceptable things to do when one has another tangled up in want. Even when pressed against the wall. . .or perhaps _particularly_ when that was the case.

“Nah, I was hoping you had a hot roommate.” Rin manages the words around a smug little smirk, more daring than Sasuke knows he truly feels, but there’s something about liquor in the veins and a challenge defining itself before your eyes that seems to stoke the fires ever higher for Rin. He had watched it blossom while they had sat at the bar just an hour earlier, the chaos of revelry loud around them, and now those flames could very well devour him whole. Sasuke keeps his eyes on the curve of Rin’s mouth, contemplating all the various ways he could shut him up.

Matsuoka Rin.

Eighteen. Lived just on the outskirts of the shopping district with his mother, a long retired kunoichi, and his younger sister, who had settled into some part of Sakura’s research group regarding the bodies of elite nin and how best to maximize their potential ( _healing capabilities_ as Sakura had reminded him just last week). Father deceased. Affinity for fire jutsu but showed an odd talent for water, which had had some concerned about the mix of the two opposing elements.

Another life he would be responsible for come tomorrow morning. Rin is bright and loud and full of confidence his skills are still trying to back up. But he is quick to learn, though perhaps too often held hostage by his own morals. Honestly, he reminds Sasuke a bit of Naruto.

A small bit.

The comparisons end there, but it is enough to bring him some level of (dis)comfort. Tomorrow would show him what Rin is all about, though. Whether or not he will stay with Sasuke’s unit or get shuffled around to some place. . .better suited.

Tonight, however. . .

“A roommate?” Sasuke feels the tug on his own lips, smirk damning in it definition. “If it was a threeway you were looking for, then you’ve clearly misjudged me. . .”

As if most of Konoha hadn’t already crafted a reputation for him based on rumor alone. Perhaps, the real point of that is that there are relatively few things Sasuke can escape from when it comes to his past. More so when he has no real desire to let those memories slip through his hands again. All of it though has bred a variety of rumors that ranged from things as innocuous as his penchant for helping strays cats to the more outlandish ones of him trying to bed as many women as he could in an effort to restore his clan.

He can’t say that there isn’t truth in some of them - he does has a certain fondness for felines - but the majority are more overblown than Kiba’s ego after a successful mission.

Sasuke turns his thoughts away from Konoha at large and instead focuses back on the young man still settled promisingly in his lap. His lips are at the corner of Rin’s mouth, teasing a kiss, while his hands once more glide down the length of Rin’s torso. Fingers skim lightly over ribs, wayward spirals over skin until they rest at the edge of his pants. The zipper had been undone just minutes before, and now seems as good a time as any to pick up where he had left off.

Rin pulls his head back slightly, eyeing Sasuke down the bridge of his nose. Red eyes glint bright with mischief. “Possessive. . .already?”

Sasuke finds himself huffing out against Rin’s throat, nipping sharply in retaliation. He’s comfortable letting the curve of Rin’s jaw hide his gaze as his thoughts darken. Nails take to biting skin, just above Rin’s hips.

_“I was by the way. . .interested. In your katon. I’ve got a thing for fire too.”_

When he speaks next, his voice is low, thoroughly warmed through like the last bits of sapling succumbing to flame. “Possessive?” He sets teeth to skin once more, just alongside the jugular vein, and pauses when he hears a sharp intake of breath above him. On the next nip, he continues, a quiet but lethal edge slipping into his tone. “You would be better off not making yourself the object of my desire, Rin. I’m relentless when it comes to what I want. And not always kind.”

There is far too much truth in that, none of which Sasuke is particularly ashamed of honestly speaking. His history is littered with examples, all tattered and blood stained. The very things that make the rumors about him now carry such vibrant life. He’s a carefully caged danger, wanted for the very power he holds and feared because he has shown its edge goes both ways. It’s why he had been shocked that Rin had approached him in the first place.

_“You’re an asshole. I like you,” he said, grinning at Sasuke like it was the greatest joke of the century and only he got the real punchline of it._

_Sasuke couldn’t help but smile, bemused. “Well, at least we’ve gotten that out of the way. Welcome to ANBU, Rin.”_

“Big talk. But you know how it goes - gotta back it up.”

Rin has his hand in Sasuke’s hair now, tugging back on the strands so he can look Sasuke full in the face again. His eyes are bright, red and glimmering with something more than just basic want. They remind Sasuke of a stripped down Sharingan, without all the pain hollowing out the red in neat black notches. A solid but far from simple red. Loaded with emotion, everything Sasuke tries to deny himself. The fingers in his hair ease up, sliding down to cup the back of his neck. Rin still sits there, like he has full command of this show. 

And then, he gives a light shrug, sets an even lighter kiss to the corner of Sasuke’s mouth. “But, you know. . .if it really means nothing, then you can just - jerk yourself off.”

_Rin had a fingertip poking into the side of his mouth, his expression almost quizzical as he stared at Sasuke. It was a light touch, more of a suggestion of one, but completely unable to be ignored. It had taken him by surprise, as though the mere act of sitting and having a drink with him hadn’t been enough for bravado but now Rin was touching him like he wasn’t the half-feral tiger the village elders worried themselves over._

_“What are you doing?” Sasuke asked, voice chilling with each syllable._

_But Rin was smiling, laughing lightly as he looked down at his hand first, then back at Sasuke. Completely unperturbed by the venom welling in Sasuke’s voice. “I don’t know. . .you just looked kinda sad for a moment.”_

“. . .you want me. . .” Sasuke murmurs, confused despite himself. He’s looking directly into Rin’s eyes, trying to dissect out the motives behind all of Rin’s actions this evening, the meaning behind his words. It’s unsettling, how honest Rin can be. His gaze drops; Sasuke closes his eyes with a shuddering breath, sets the steel back into his voice, finely honed. “Do you know how many people would want to simply say I fucked them. . .how many would walk away satisfied with just that. . .”

The words dry up in his throat. Because it goes beyond that - there’s far more that could be done with information like _I fucked Uchiha Sasuke, in his own bed even_. Too many potential mistakes, too much scandal. He’s never let himself go like this, and maybe, conveniently, he could blame the liquor running hot in his veins, and maybe tomorrow Rin would do the same. But he hates how Rin can look at him with honesty lighting up his being, hates how much he reminds him of Naruto, nothing but iron and determination and a fire burning bright enough to match his own. 

Hates how his heart stuttered for the briefest of moments in the tangle of lies he keeps telling himself. 

He’s nudging his nose against Rin’s throat, hands coasting along ribs once more. With eyes still shut, he bites down where shoulder meets neck, exhales heavily as tongue flicks out over the burgeoning mark. 

“. . .make it mean something for me then. . .”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always spend a lot of time going back and forth between things when it comes to writing. Far too much time.

“You look like you slept well.”

“Do you ever plan on being on time for anything?” Sasuke tosses out the words, the faint flares of irritation warming them as they depart his lips. It lacks any real bite, considering this isn’t the first time nor does he suspect it will be the last time he’ll find ANBU’s current head in such a situation. That is namely fifteen minutes late from the time they were supposed to have been on the field greeting their new recruits for their first training mission. 

Kakashi scratches at his cheek, head tilting to the side like he’s trying to pull the right thought through his mind at just the right pace. As his gaze drops to Sasuke, he finally replies with a nonchalant, “What can I say, staring at the sunrise today got me thinking about the road ahead and I got a little -”

“Don’t even finish that,” Sasuke mutters as he pushes away from the table to stand. His expression says it all, clearly, as Kakashi starts to laugh a bit sheepishly. It’s the excuse he’s heard since he was twelve, the one he’s heard a million times since and at no point had Kakashi considered getting a new line. Sasuke imagines it probably has to do with the way it sours his look. 

Every. Single. Time.

He exhales softly then scoops up the folders from the table. Dossiers on his recruits, which he had been over a dozen times since receiving them last week. Rin had been one, whom he had (fortunately or unfortunately - that matter is still something he’s waiting to determine) become acquainted with already. Aside from him, there are two others. The second is a young woman named Izumi, who specializes more in tactics and subterfuge than in any particular brand of ninjutsu. The final recruit is another young man, called Genji, who had been something of an up-and-coming genius in weaponry with an affinity for the wood element. Where Izumi is soft and pliable in all the ways she wants you to believe, fitting for a kunoichi who would rather steal intelligence _harmlessly_ than beat it out her opponent, Genji reminds him of Juugo, a beast of a man though with far more self-control.

If he had to call them something, it would be a well-rounded team, each able to off-set the capabilities of the others. Where each would have had a terrain of jagged edges on their own, as a team, they’re able to smooth out the way for one other. If they can manage to work together when necessary. In that, Sasuke can tell Kakashi put careful thought into each working hand, not only talents but personalities taken into consideration. But that had always been like him.

 _Underneath the underneath._

“Think you can manage them?” Kakashi asks, his eye on Sasuke. That look makes him squirm a little, mentally, like an earthworm struggling up out of the dirt to keep from drowning during a storm. Despite everything he had done in his past, Kakashi had never stopped looking out for him. At least, once they had buried the hatchet on the idea that Sasuke had been better off eradicated than roaming free to inflict whatever horrors his idea of righteous judgment deemed appropriate. Once that matter had been settled, however, it became as though nothing had changed, and Sasuke was back on Team 7 again, full of trouble and just waiting for someone to rein him in.

At least, it’s the partial feeling regarding the two of them. There are more subtle differences now to their relationship, noted as Kakashi had put his trust, piece by shattered piece, back into his former protégé. 

Rumor has it that is why Kakashi had agreed to take over running ANBU in the first place, on the sole condition Root remained disbanded, a buried but not forgotten secret like so many other things in Konoha, and Sasuke placed under his direct watch. Sasuke can’t help but feel how unnecessary the idea of it is, true or not. He’s twenty-two and shaken free his desires to destroy his home village (and in that himself). He doesn’t need a chaperone to help guide his ideals. 

That’s why they all have Naruto, isn’t it?

“Shouldn’t you be worried more about Kiba?” Sasuke retorts with a roll of his shoulder, dismissive. “Hmph. I still can’t believe you let him in.”

“Hey now! I happen to be the new face of the ANBU corps, asshole!” Akamaru barks in agreement as both pass through the door and into the small office the two of them had claimed as their own upon their promotion, though Sasuke can’t tell if that’s mere threat or if the dog had simply gotten so big his voice can’t help but boom like rioting thunder every time he opened his mouth. Either way, it has him scowling in Kiba’s general direction. “You know, we’re the fluffier, somewhat friendlier version! Less stealth and fuck everyone else, and more, let’s try to keep things working without all the blood and death.”

Sasuke resists the urge to drag his palm down his face. It’s too fucking early in the morning for this level of bullshit. 

“You do realize ANBU has been and still is about _making things work_ , only you don’t get caught on the whole blood and death thing. Or do you really have no concept of what it means to be a ninja?”

Kiba’s expression deadpans as he places a hand over his heart. “Oh, Uchiha, how you continue to wound me.” A pause, then he’s flicking Sasuke off with a vicious grin. “If you’re looking to keep yourself top ranked as ANBU’s number one jackass, congratulations, you still have that honor.”

“Now, now, children. . .” Kakashi’s voice comes smooth and easy between them as he places a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, the smallest crinkle of a smile at the edge of his eye. “Don’t make me throw you both into the testing arena along with your recruits. We are supposed to be setting an example you know. . .”

Sasuke shrugs off Kakashi’s hand, then dips away before his former mentor can take further hold of him. He tosses the dossiers on the edge of his desk, a small cut of space near the door, neat in all the ways Kiba’s is a disaster with papers haphazardly tossed about, bits of what he assumes are dog biscuits and various snacks crumbled across them. Every time he sees the mess, he can’t help but glare at it, wondering how someone so epicly disorganized can manage to keep a team together during a mission. But maybe that’s how it went for a one-track mind - give him a task and he can complete it unflinchingly, but offer him free rein and it’s asking for Chaos to come play and leaving you praying Havoc isn’t just around the corner. 

Pulling open the door, Sasuke pauses, just long enough to look over his shoulder, eyes flaring bright and the harsh curl of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. “You heard him, Kiba - so, _come_.”

Before Kiba can attempt to strangle him, Sasuke is out the door, an odd knot of butterflies in his stomach. 

A good example, is it?  


* * * * *

The Forty-Fourth Training Grounds. Sasuke can’t say he has particularly fond memories of the place, but he has been here enough times now that the sting of his first time appearance in it has lessened to nothing more than a pinprick’s worth of pain. Since the War, the forest had been relegated to use only by the ANBU corps and whatever upper level nin cared to put their skills to the test in the once infamous grounds of death. A lot had gone into consideration, including the forest’s ultimate use, as far as the training and testing of young ninja were concerned. It’s something Sasuke is acutely aware of, considering it all ultimately stemmed from what had played out during his own exam where the seeds of defection had been planted, flourishing only further as the Chuunin exam had dragged on to a failed end. 

In the years he had spent traveling, putting himself back together after the War, Konoha had dissected down everything that had gone wrong in his life. And when he had returned, it had been to find that the tendrils of fear still curled around the hearts of far too many. It could have been easy enough to blame it on the War alone, but for the village itself, his very existence put a knife to its life pulse. 

After all, for Konoha, it had started with a blood-soaked night, moon full and silver and highlighting all the worst of a culling. The War had only been the icing on a rather macabre cake.

His gaze trails upwards, all signs of the sun blotted out by the towering of trees around them. It’s left the forest floor cool, with hints of dew still clinging to the fauna. In another few hours, Sasuke knows the whole place will start to heat up, like some earth-woven sauna flush with the green of life and just waiting to drain them all dry if they aren’t careful. They shouldn’t be in here that long, but it doesn’t mean they won’t be in here again at some other date, testing their reserves and pushing themselves beyond both mental and physical capacities. This morning is but a taste of things to come for their new recruits, more playful initiation than anything else. Where most settle for a game of tag through Konoha’s streets, ANBU prefers something a bit more. . . _interesting_.

Pulling into line beside him, Kiba throws Sasuke one last threatening look (and really it’s mostly bark with a small bit of bite), which only earns him a smirk and the universal hand signal for _sit_ known to all dog trainers across the world. If not for Shino stepping in between them, Sasuke is certain Kiba would have broken rank and started his own battle royale on the spot. You know, to show the new recruits how it really goes down in ANBU - or so Sasuke imagines the excuse would have been once all was said and done.

“I see you’ve all made it here safely,” Kakashi starts like always. Like he hasn’t known they were all here well before any validated ANBU member had arrived, like he hadn’t made them wait because waiting is one of the world’s most tormenting evils for it tears apart reason and inspires doubt and is the worst thing one could ever do to a bunch of fledgling ANBU corps members who have thrived on discipline and punctuality to prove their worth and showcase their willing obedience. When no one speaks up at the pause Kakashi left for them, Sasuke knows they’ve passed the first test, though he wonders if he’s not a bit disappointed by the lack of dissent. 

Sasuke certainly doesn’t miss the way Kakashi’s eye briefly catches his gaze in that moment. At his own induction, Sasuke had had no problems mouthing off, which had only dragged Kiba into the whole affair of tossing insults like salt to ward off whatever hell either of them thought to stir up. It’s a fond enough memory now, considering all that had happened in its wake, but one Kakashi has never quite let him forget. 

If only for the sheer amusement factor. (Sasuke still hasn’t forgotten the punishing week-long mission Kakashi had sent him on with Kiba immediately following the whole ordeal, which is probably the whole point of not letting either of them forget in the first place.) Things always seem to look much better in retrospect.

“Your task today is simple – memorize the contents of the packets you will be handed here just shortly and avoid getting caught by this lovely young crowd standing before you.” Kakashi gestures towards the ANBU line-up just behind him with a flick of his wrist. 

Aside from himself, Sasuke notes the team consists of only a handful of their active members: Kiba, Shino, Sai, Hinoko, Magire, and Yamato. The latter had never been far when matters concerned Sasuke, which he had known was more political than protocol after Sasuke had rejoined Konoha’s fighting forces. Yamato’s presence had gradually lessened over the last few years, more of a rare bloom appearance on his missions than the overbearing press of _constant_ it had been that first year. That Yamato is here today means he has new recruits to focus on; the overseer of his on-best-behavior-or-else contract is apparently no longer necessary. Had his mind not been wrapped in other more pressing details, like the way Rin is trying not to glare at him, Sasuke might have taken the time to revel in his little victory. Instead, he’s trying not to smirk, not too wickedly at least. He doesn’t think Kakashi would have appreciated a late erupting rebellion after he had already given the recruits their fair chance to incite one. 

“Should you be caught by one of them, it then becomes your duty to keep the information you have precisely where you placed it – in your heads. Unless you fail to dispose of the packets appropriately and that packet ends up in one of our hands, in which case your trial run will end right there. If your soon-to-be leaders manage to wrest that information from you in some other manner, consider it a failure. Whether or not you remain here in ANBU or return to training rests solely in their hands.”

Sasuke starts to tune out the procedural run-down at this point. He had been present last year, though as help and nothing more. He knows the packet in his hand contains a mission scenario, the details twisted, maybe several missions combined, with a few falsified facts thrown in to separate them from any real-life mission that had been undertaken. Just enough truth to give their new recruits a taste of what ANBU ultimately must handle, but never enough to jeopardize. He knows Kakashi will continue with the clarifications (there really aren’t ever any rules because they never are out in the field), including the safe-house, which always remained the tower at the center of the forest, though it’s a dilapidated shell of what it had once been, as well as the teams themselves, each designated by a small piece of colored string tied around their right wrists. Sasuke’s is bright blue, glaring against his pale skin; he hasn’t failed to notice that Kiba is wearing the same hue.

Kakashi has the absolute worst sense of humor. 

When finally indicated, Sasuke steps forward and hands out the two packets he has been given – one to Izumi and the other to Rin. He locks his gaze on Rin’s, just daring the other nin to say something. He can see the thoughts blazing like solar flares in Rin’s eyes, suspects they must be boiling on his tongue as well. Everything Rin wants to condemn him for, everything else he wants to ask. Sasuke can just imagine the questions scalding Rin’s throat in that moment. Like why would his assigned commander fuck him the night before his recruitment test? Was it all just some joke at his expense? Another trial? Was Sasuke really just that fucked up that he found this sort of hazing to be well within his right to conduct? 

Or had it actually had something to do with _wanting_ to do the things they had done and the way Sasuke’s mouth could curve in a lazy, sated smile. . .

It’s almost pretty, the way the corners of Rin’s own mouth take a worried dip downward, almost defiant but fleeting at best. Seconds later, the heat is back in his gaze, washing away whatever troubling thoughts had sought to assault him before what is surely going to be one of his defining moments. 

Sasuke had almost wanted him to speak, but the only thing Rin does is bow his head in acceptance, his eyes still flaring bright, and turns his attention to the contents of the packet. 

“You have five minutes to go through that information and take whatever lead you can over your pursuers. Use this time however you see fit though I encourage you to use it wisely,” Kakashi calls out. 

Sasuke glances over his shoulder to watch as Rin takes off into the trees, reading as he moves. He just barely catches Izumi as she slips off in the opposite direction, her packet tucked neatly under her flak jacket. Already their approaches manifesting before him, and it has Sasuke smirking with dark amusement. One is a flashbang of action, the other as insidious as a rattlesnake coiled beneath fallen leaves.

Is he truly ready for this?

The question has little room to take hold as he notices Kiba making his way over, giving a few parting words to Shino. In the time it takes him to reach his side, Sasuke had double-checked his own equipment: Kusanagi strapped in its usual place against his lower back, weapons-pack around his right leg, flak jacket secure against his chest, bracers tight over his forearms, and his ANBU mask resting patiently at his hip. He’s making one last adjustment to his weapon’s holster when Kiba bumps their shoulders together, the gesture soft with friendly intent.

“So, how is it I get teamed up with you to tackle your team when I have my own to be looking out for. . .”

Sasuke straightens himself up with a harsh sigh, partly honest in its making but mostly for effect. He has a point to prove with this, after all. “Kakashi probably took that whole _come_ business a little too seriously.”

“He must really fucking love you.”

“Loves to annoy my last nerve, you mean.”

Kiba starts laughing, a low intimate sort of sound. It’s one Sasuke has heard far too many times, though a little less over the last eight months, but even now it stirs a bit of warmth in his heart. He’ll blame it for the smile that threatens his lips just then.

“I figure you’re already taking on the fire-loving kid, and we both know Genji is more my type when it comes to the fight. . .”

“Leave Rin and Izumi to me,” Sasuke says. “We both know you’re shit at making clones anyway.”

Throwing an arm over Sasuke’s shoulder, Kiba leans in with a grin clawing at his face. “Anyone ever tell you your pillow talk needs some work?”

Sasuke exhales heavily, eyes closing, but he doesn’t bother trying to brush off Kiba’s arm. Not just yet anyway. “Shouldn’t your girlfriend be whispering sweet nothings for you instead?”

Kiba nods his head, humming deeply. “She is pretty damn cute, you know.”

“I _know_.” Because Kiba tells him all the fucking time.

“Don’t even think about stealing her.”

His head feels infinitely heavier at that moment. _Stupidity isn’t contagious_ , Sasuke tells himself, letting it slip like a mantra through the confines of his mind. Over and over again. When he finally answers, his voice has flattened out, emotion dead and buried and the impression left that the effort of resurrecting any semblance of feeling over the matter is simply too much of a hassle. “Why would I want to steal her when I introduced you to her in the first place?”

“Because you’re an asshole.”

“Not like that.”

Kiba gives a little snort. The things Uchiha Sasuke is quick to take offense to will never cease to amaze. “Yeah, I know, but you _are_ an asshole and I’m pretty sure you left the bar with –“

“What does that have to do with me making a move on your girlfriend?” Sasuke cuts him off irritably. Obviously this had been going somewhere, as usual with Kiba, and it’s tracking down something Sasuke has no intention of unearthing with him at this current moment.

“Nothing, actually. I just wanted to point out the line to you and all. . .” Kiba laughs, pulling his arm free with the look of a man knowing he’s courting a cobra. 

“I know what I’m doing. I don’t need you of all people meddling in my affairs.”

“Better than Kakashi,” Kiba counters. “Or Naruto.”

“Have I told you to fuck off yet today?” Sasuke snaps as Kiba dances away from a punch that has no intention in its swing. He still needs Kiba to capture Genji for him. Or so Sasuke tells himself. 

With both middle fingers raised, Kiba backpedals over to Shino, a feral edge to his laughter. “Say that to me after I beat you back to the tower, Sasuke!”

* * * * *

Rin thinks he has this all figured out. Mostly. He _mostly_ has this figured out.

Fact one: In a fit of drunken bravado he had propositioned the most notorious nin in their village (he labels him _the most_ only because Naruto isn’t really _notorious_ but rather something of a rising godlike legend in Konoha and while Sasuke pretty much stands toe-to-toe with him, unlike Naruto he has the stigma of a rather black past clouding his reputation) which had led to them having a tumble or two in Sasuke’s bed the night before. He doesn’t regret it, really. It just naturally leads to other problems. Like the following fact.

Fact two: Uchiha Sasuke is actually his ANBU commander, which means he knew Rin was his potential subordinate last night and probably a good week or two in advance of that. Despite this, he still fucked Rin. 

Fact three: Uchiha Sasuke was not that drunk last night. Tipsy at best maybe. Rin had been decently plastered, but there hadn’t been enough liquor in his veins to erase the things he had said and done. So, in reality, Rin hadn’t been that drunk either. Which makes him wonder why he thought he could just waltz up to Sasuke and allude to certain. . .or rather _many_ things. Rin had wanted a lot of things last night. Mostly, perhaps to be acknowledged by one of the best nin in their village. 

Fact four: When Sasuke is deconstructed, he is a surprisingly stunning bit of human. Rin had loved the way the emotions had played across his face, but mostly, the way Sasuke had looked a little less beaten down, a little less isolated with Rin there in his bed. It’s making him think there is more to this than some stupid idea of ANBU hazing or a quick get-off to relieve stress.

Fact five: Uchiha Sasuke had fucked him. _Him_. Apparently the rumors of him bedding every potential clan-raiser about the village and beyond had been greatly exaggerated. But honestly, why anyone would even think that possible when they saw Sasuke like he had been at the bar last night. . .It's left Rin wondering how such a rumor could have even gotten started. It's like no one ever _really_ looks at Sasuke.

Fact six: He really shouldn’t be dissecting down any of this right now because he’s in the middle of a fucking recruitment mission and Uchiha Sasuke is the one likely to be on his tail. And there is one rumor Rin knows to be true, having spoken to last year’s crop of ANBU inductees, and that is the fact that not one person escaped Sasuke when he was the one in pursuit. 

Rin considers himself fucked yet again, in a most assuredly less fun way, but everything within him screams at him to not falter before that fact. He made it this far on his own hard work and talents. It had nothing to do with Uchiha Sasuke. And he sure as hell could make it to that tower. 

He’s already rid himself of the documents, having sent them up in a neat flare of fire several trees back. The information had been simply put, though it’s the bulk of it that could weigh a mind down. But Rin knows a mission’s success lies in the details, and that while the words typed in neat succession across the pages had been innocuous enough in their crafting, what could be done with them is far from such. A few details, character ticks and traits, that are meant to be used to disarm and if needed dispatch. 

There is nothing kind about the words that are locked within a mission packet. 

Makoto had asked him if he was ready for that – the inevitability that someone’s life would be his to take if he went into ANBU. After the War, things had changed across the villages, and outright fights had been discouraged and replaced with the desire for peaceful accords and comradeship. It hadn’t meant that everyone had agreed to such notions, however, and now there are a handful of various factions across the nations who fight to put things back to what they had once been. 

They call it supporting the shinobi way of life, and they are the reason ANBU still exists. A specialized battle corps that works in the shadows, allowing the villages to move forward in the ways their leadership would have everyone believe on the surface, to cling to that hope spawned in the wake of war. Meanwhile, the fight still carries on in the underworld, spawning the pool of blood that buoys the hope seen above.

His father had died for ANBU years ago, well before the War, back when Rin was barely old enough to recall his own name much less his father’s. But memories, when spoken of often and fondly enough, have a way of warping into future goals. It had become Rin’s dream since then to succeed him in all the ways his father hadn’t. Makoto may have questioned the need to become part of this, but Rin is convinced that the ANBU of today is more necessary than its previous incarnation had ever been. And he isn’t about to let anyone, not even Uchiha Sasuke, swipe this dream from his hands.

Having just steeled himself to his current task, Rin barely has enough time to dodge the hailstorm of shuriken raining down around him. He manages to cut away as the first blade embeds itself into the tree trunk on his left, circling around the assault while giving him a chance to gauge the direction it had originated. There had been a slight angle to attack, which meant his pursuer had come in from the east, which by his current calculation, placed him between Rin and the tower. 

Uttering a quick curse under his breath, Rin dives lower, hoping the thick cover of leaves above will obscure his movements further. In his wake, he leaves several exploding tags, poised to unleash fury should anyone take up pursuit in a wide 180-degree arc behind him. He harbors no bright illusions about his chances of getting out of this unscathed, but he still believes relentlessly that he will make it to his goal.

One of the tags explodes behind him, the one he had set to his far right. Rin cuts quickly to the left, hoping to widen the gap between himself and his pursuer. He had noted, before they had started, that Inuzuka Kiba had worn that same color string around his wrist as Sasuke had, though the two had looked set to start their own war rather than focus on the task at hand. But that easily could have been a calculated ploy, meant to throw off perceptions and lure the team into overestimating their own abilities. He knows Kiba and Sasuke had been accepted into ANBU when they were both eighteen, and he knows you don’t survive four years in that setting without knowing how to work with one another, personality clashes or not.

What it means, however, in this current moment, is that he can’t assume it’s Sasuke following him. Having one of his tags set off leads him to think it’s not – how could someone like Sasuke fall to ninja diversion tactic 101. Genin are taught that maneuver, but it’s for the very fact that it remains that effective. No matter how high level you are as a nin, the basics simply don’t fail. If nothing else, they buy time or provide crucial information. In his case, Rin had been hoping for a bit of both. 

One hundred yards ahead of him, he can see the landscape brightening as sunlight crashes down through an opening in the trees. A rare glade, with the faint sound of water tinkling over the rustle of leaves and bird calls. It leaves Rin with a choice – slip through quickly to maintain speed or circumvent around to keep his cover. He’s confident in his footwork. After all, he had kept up with Sasuke on their race back to Sasuke’s apartment last night. But he’s not hard pressed enough to abandon the wrap of shadow the forest provides. 

Before he can make a decision, fire bursts bright and terrifying into existence just feet from his position, first exploding on the left then on the right. He drops immediately to the forest floor to avoid the scalding remnants of flame dancing over the bark and finds himself face-to-face with an ANBU member wearing a fox mask. He’s not given the chance to play guess who (that had been the one thing they hadn't been able to see during the introduction - the masks of each member) before there’s a foot solid against his sternum and sending him flying out into the center of the glade. 

_Shit, shit, shit, shitshitshitshit. . . ._

It’s the one word rolling through his mind like some clichéd adventure movie plot point, with some overly large stone barreling down a narrow corridor and just waiting to pummel the unsuspecting hero. And he’s waiting for it, that hard hit into oblivion, but it never comes. There’s no follow through on the attack at all. In fact, Rin is given the time to assess the damage, his chest aching hollow and his heart cavernous in its thundering. Nothing has been broken, but there will certainly be bruises come tomorrow morning. 

When he finally looks to the opposite end of the clearing, he sees the ANBU operative standing there, head cocked to the side, and the feeling he gets is one of mockery. Like he’s just been taken down a notch and this person knows it full and well. 

He had been _led_ here. To this exact spot. Rin has never been more certain of a single fact than he is in that moment, staring down his would-be opponent. 

Uchiha Sasuke. 

His skin is paler, his hair far darker. A little shorter than Kiba, and there’s the tell-tale presence of Kusanagi at his back, for any who bothered to know the little details about how various nin liked to carry their weapons. It’s a flaw, but he’s certain Sasuke knows that much. 

And that he doesn’t care because he’s just that fucking good at what he does. 

Rin counts backwards in his mind, enforcing a controlled calm over his body, as his pursuer starts to close in on him. He can do this. Of course, he can do this. He’s been recruited by ANBU and out of an entire village there are only a handful of nin who can say ANBU scouted them. He’s earned every fucking right to be here, and what does it matter who is standing before him? 

Letting bravado slip into its usual role, a smirk hitches itself to Rin’s lips. He’s seen this guy naked, tasted his lips and watched him come above him. Uchiha Sasuke is as human as he is, Sharingan, Rinnegan or not. He is still so very human. 

“How about we cut the bullshit pretend game here, Sasuke? I know that’s you. . .” Rin calls out. 

The figure stops, head once more canting to the side, and Rin can all but imagine the smirk claiming Sasuke’s mouth in that moment. 

“Let’s face it – I know I’m not getting out of this clearing unscathed, so I’m sure we can reach some sort of deal on this. Right?”

He’s stalling and he knows that. Knows pretty damn well that Sasuke can guess as much too, but to his surprise, he’s left watching as Sasuke slides the ANBU mask up and over to rest against the side of his head. Had he abandoned protocol because this is just a trial run or is there something more revved up in Sasuke’s head that’s going to leave Rin run over in a few minutes? 

“You want a deal, Rin?” 

“Yeah. . .that’s what I’m saying. . .”

Rin can see the way Sasuke’s lips part, but he can’t hear the laugh. Maybe there is none to be heard, or maybe it’s the low-spun thing meant for whispers and lovers alone. For a brief moment, Rin wishes they were back in bed so he could revel in the sound of Sasuke undone. But he’s not there (and may never be again), and everything he has planned his future around rides on his ability to outwit this genius of man standing before him.  
His voice drops, eyes half-lidded as he looks at Sasuke. He can play this game, whatever it takes to survive. “You heard me, right? Let’s make a deal, Sasuke. . .”

And for a moment, he thinks he has a plan down, thinks he has managed to startle Sasuke with his approach or at the very least amuse him. Enough so, that he’s managed to close half the distance between them without so much as a flinch of movement from Sasuke. He kicks his head to the side, beckoning, then throws his hands out before him, emptied of any possible threat.

“You want one, don’t you?”

“Do I?” Sasuke asks, his eyes locked on Rin’s. They’re dark, impossible to read, and it nearly shakes Rin of his resolve. 

It had been foolish to think that he could stand toe-to-toe with Sasuke on the battlefield. This is someone who has killed, who has more battle experience than most his age, who has been known to be as unmovable as the sun hung high in the sky above them. And this isn’t even Sasuke being serious, merely playing along with expectations. 

But that, perhaps, is his saving grace in this.

Rin takes a deep breath and with it another step closer. Sasuke’s gaze slides down along the length of Rin’s body. 

“I think you do. I mean, there’s a lot I can offer you. . . .something I know you’d enjoy. . .”

He just needed to get a little bit closer. And to his surprise, and ultimately relief, Sasuke continues to hold his ground. Perhaps Rin should have been more concerned about the lack of fear in Sasuke’s stance, but he would rather focus on the opportunity about to present itself.

“And what would that something be?”

Rin huffs out lightly, trying his best to seem as unperturbed as Sasuke. Meanwhile, his heart is fluttering about like a bat panicked in a chimney. He licks at his lips, dips his head to look up at Sasuke through lash and wisps of red hair.

“I’m pretty sure I mentioned some things. . . .” he pauses, trying not to blush furiously at the memory, “. . . .last night. You seemed rather interested in giving me the chance. . .”

Sasuke’s mouth takes an odd little twist, which Rin had come to find out meant he was losing the war with his own amusement. In this moment, he doesn’t know if he should be offended by the notion or glad he’s still in one piece. It doesn’t matter anyway. On the next step, his eyes narrow sharply in focus and he’s cutting down the final two steps between them, fingers dancing through the rhythm of seals that will allow him to conjure up a fireball. At close range, Sasuke would be hard pressed to avoid it.

That is, if this had been Uchiha Sasuke standing before him and not some clone that dissipated like smoke after a doused fire. Rin has to fight back the initial feelings of fury – at both himself and at Sasuke. A fucking fool is right. There he had been, feeling so damn proud he might have actually managed to _do_ something against someone like Sasuke and in the end he had been played with like some goddamned rookie.

Even if he is a rookie.

Rin simply thought he had been better than this, and yet in the end, he’s only been shown just how deep the gulch is between himself and the ANBU elite. But while it might have killed the drive in others (and he had watched it happened to those around him), Rin only feels his anger prodding him to succeed. He isn’t going to wind up some had-been failure. He isn’t going to return to Haru or Sousuke and say he tried but it had been all too much. Because worse than this feeling right now would be the looks on their faces, accepting of his faltering and waiting it out while he rerouted himself. 

That isn’t Matsuouka Rin. He had always shined best in the pursuit of what he believed in.

And he believes in the ANBU corps that exists here and now. 

He whirls around as a kunai comes flying out of the forest, lodging itself in the dirt beside him. No tags, no killing intent. A warning. He follows the trajectory and finds the nin responsible sitting in a tree, one leg dangling lazily over the side of the branch he’s lounging on, mask resting on the side of his head and the Sharingan burning bright in his eyes.

“Are you always this much of an asshole??” Rin yells, unable to stop frustration from scratching up his voice. 

And this time, he can hear Sasuke laughing all too clearly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While we're getting battered by a hurricane, I figured I might as well finish this chapter out. I swear things will develop after this. . .

There are a lot of things Uchiha Sasuke makes look good. Take fire for example. He conjures up his katon the same way he draws in breath, purely instinctual. So seemingly thoughtless, and yet the depth of his application all too often leaves his opponents dancing about in an elaborate waltz of decimation he’s constructing long before they realize it themselves. One simple act to send his enemy traipsing into a series of victory-robbing mistakes. Or take the way he slips from his perch on the tree, the easy roll of his weight over the branch, chakra gathering seamlessly to cushion his landing, all without taking his eyes off of his adversary. And his gaze burns brilliantly, lit up with the Sharingan and all the potential its bloodline promises to unfurl before the world.

It honestly takes Rin’s breath away. 

But it’s the smirk on Sasuke’s lips that helps Rin collect his better senses, stealing them back from awe and admiration before either can blindside him. That look tells him there is still an impressive gap spanning between them, one begging to be overtaken. And he imagines Sasuke is waiting for that – for someone to meet him face-to-face, uninhibited, unhindered. 

As free as this world thinks it can convince him he can be, reality be damned.

Rin feels an itch blossoming in his core. He has seen the way Sasuke has looked at Naruto, when the two of them have sparred together, with his lips pulled back by an almost fevered smile, the sharpness of his gaze fixed on one and one alone. There is nothing more in that moment than the person standing before him, challenging him, driving him, pulling him ever forward. Rin remembers, all too clearly, the last time he had seen them like that, raising hell and all its minions on the outskirts of Konoha to their utter delight (and Sakura's utter fury or so he had heard his sister lamenting the day after), and all he can think is that he has never seen Sasuke so completely unfettered. 

So entirely unafraid.

It’s a stark contrast from the man he sees approaching him now. There is something cold and clearly reserved in the look shadowing Sasuke’s gaze. This isn’t for fun. This is duty, lined out word for word in a mission document, where his role has been set and his movements confined by the need to test someone else and not himself. 

This is Uchiha Sasuke neatly collared. 

And it is everything Rin wants to break. Suddenly. Brilliantly. Because he wants to see something more of Sasuke beyond the expectations corralled in this stretch of death-seducing forest. He wants to be someone worth that same sort of breathless freedom.

He thinks he had gotten a glimpse of it last night, when Sasuke realized he could push and he could pull and Rin would not shatter beneath him. When he started to see that Rin could dish out what was given, and that it had nothing to do with rumors or reputation but rather with the man that Sasuke was. 

Including every ounce of asshole that he could be. 

And he is definitely in full asshole regalia right now. Sasuke has stopped about fifty yards from him, his head tipped back just enough to give the impression he’s still looking down at Rin from on high, with that same unrepentant smirk staining his lips. It is enough to turn that itch into something Rin can barely keep himself from scratching - or burning right out of existence, skin and bone and everything in between. Like love and hate, it's courting a rather fine line, really. 

“You said you weren’t getting out of this unscathed. . .” 

Sasuke’s voice is dripping with arrogance (he wants to call it overconfidence, but he’s already been shown the difference between them and he knows without a doubt that, grating as it is, Sasuke has every reason to sound like that), and just like a spill of ice water in summer, it sends a shiver down Rin’s spine. Startling in its descent, with that burst of emotion flaring as shock gives way anger. 

Sasuke may have had all the right to hold himself like that, but it doesn’t mean Rin has to swallow it down like the bitter pill it could all too often be. 

“I think just about anyone standing before you has had that thought. Except maybe Naruto. . .” Rin pauses as he catches the slight flash of something dark streaking through Sasuke’s gaze, as his smirk softens ever so slightly with confusion. “. . .I mean the two of you are practically monsters in the field. You can’t tell me you don’t know what people think about you two.”

The words slip out before Rin could even consider the consequences. His thoughts may have been focused on one very concentrated pool of facts (they are absolute monsters in the field, so far above the talents of their own generation it's almost nauseating), but the truth is that there are far too many things thought about when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke, both in Konoha and the ninja world abroad. And Rin barely has a breath to realize his mistake, where his own blood felt like it was rebelling against him, running hot and hard through his veins, before Sasuke is giving his own ruthless reply.

The first thing Rin registers is that there is pain cutting sharp across his back. The second is that his breath is no longer regulated, coming in shallow rasping gasps, ravaged in part by pain, but also by a desperate need for air. He swears he’s got his eyes open, but all he can see is a depth-devouring black, pinpricks of light flashing in his periphery. It takes every ounce of his awareness just to force the panic back into the box it’s trying to crawl its way out of in that moment. 

He can still feel, almost regrettably, but the sensations are there. And he’s still breathing, shallow and sharp, but very much alive. And there is something heavy and warm but not altogether kind pressing up against him.

Pinning him to be more accurate.

Rin groans, then licks slowly at his lips. His throat feels impossibly dry, the words desiccated in his throat. The sensation is made all the worse by the trickle of water washing over his hearing, close but not close enough. And then, sunlight bursts bright before him, revealing the shadow-cut figure of Sasuke leaning over him. With a twitch of his fingers, he recognizes the roughened texture of bark behind him.

No, that’s not right. Sasuke isn’t leaning over him, but standing before him, supporting Rin’s weight against a tree with one leg between his thighs and his wrists bound almost cruelly by Sasuke's hand just above his head. Given the amount of sunlight still showering down, the tree scratching up exposed skin, Rin surmises they must still be in the clearing.

“Fuck you, Sasuke. . .” Rin croaks. There’s a constant slicing pain at the back of his head, like a guillotine working overtime. He gives his head a shake, as if that would somehow disrupt the rhythm trying to mince his thoughts. “Such a fucking asshole. . .”

Sasuke huffs out softly, amused. “Unscathed, I believe that’s what you said.”

“Unscathed, yeah. Didn’t say anything about comatose though. . .”

“You’re nowhere near a coma.”

“You’re right.” Rin laughs, the sound harsh with pain and disappointment. “I was a real idiot just then, wasn’t I?”

Silence greets him. Rin tries to focus his sight on Sasuke, pulling his senses together like a marionette, string by string, until they're ready to shamble forward. He only needs them to start moving in the right direction, just enough so that he could. . . .Rin sucks a breath in between gritted teeth.

In the moment before Sasuke realizes Rin has gathered enough of himself again, he catches it – that odd little look of hurt clouding Sasuke’s otherwise rapidly cooling gaze. As if in that moment, they had both just acknowledged something from the night before - something Sasuke had likely tried to forget, one Rin hadn’t wanted to discard. The very idea that Uchiha Sasuke is still stupidly, wonderfully human. 

That he is all too aware of the things said about him. About those who associate with him.

But before Rin can even think to comment on the matter (which would have been stupidity striking twice, a far more common occurrence than anything lightning could boast of), Sasuke’s gaze has shuttered itself once more, and all Rin can see is the cool dissection of his current state mirrored in Sasuke's Sharingan-studded eyes. It has Rin offering a smirk, skewed in its making but still crafted by cockiness. He has to start somewhere, right? 

“You’re a hell of a lot faster than you led me to believe last night.” 

“Of course. I wanted you to find my apartment, after all.”

And then, Rin is laughing. Wide open in all the ways Sasuke refuses to be in that moment. Completely free. He doesn’t stop, not entirely, when Sasuke presses his forearm along the line of Rin’s collarbone, tightens his grip around his wrists, reminding him of his presence and the inextricable position Rin is confined to currently. When Rin looks Sasuke in the eyes again, he doesn’t try to deny the smile taking over his lips. 

“You know, Sasuke. . .about last night, I wasn’t sure if you really wanted to do that or not, but if you're gonna go saying shit like that to me, I can't help but start thinking of something more. I mean. . .I really wanted you, and not because of who you are – ah, I mean the reputation thing.” Rin can feel his smile relaxing, warmed through by the memory of Sasuke unclothed, sprawled out beside him and asking nothing more of him than what the moment had been. Warming despite the increasing weight placed against him in silent warning. “What I mean is that it was just you that I wanted. And I meant it when I said I didn’t intend for it to be just a one-time trick sort of thing. . .”

“You’re not really in the position to be giving love confessions. . .”

Rin can hear the irritation in Sasuke’s voice, just like he can hear the water splashing about again, but it only has him laughing once more. This time quiet and relaxed. “I’m not confessing love. _Yet_. You’re gonna have to give me a few more decent dates for that.”

Before him, Sasuke blinks, and Rin can’t tell if he’s been startled by the idea or is simply having a hard time swallowing down the stupidity apparently threatening him. The smile keeps holding Rin’s lips as he lets his head roll to the side, his gaze still tracking Sasuke’s.

“This isn’t real, is it?”

Sasuke quirks an eyebrow at him, body tense in preparation. Retaliation could come at any minute, Rin knows he has had plenty of opportunity for it. 

Instead, he continues on when Sasuke fails to offer him a reply. “The you here right now with me – that’s real. But you’ve fucked with my senses, haven’t you? The thing is. . .I keep hearing water but there’s no stream around here. At least there wasn’t on the map we were given. And the last one I knew of was about a quarter of a mile back.”

Not every strike comes with a physical blow.

Sasuke smiles, sharp and expectant. “And now that you’ve figured that out – how exactly do you plan on breaking out of this?

“About that. . .” – Rin’s smile is almost sheepish here, though his eyes are predatory in their fixation upon Sasuke – “They say no one has ever broken out of one of your genjutsu traps. . .”

“The only man who could has been dead for years now.”

“Then, if I can’t break it on my own, how about I get you to do it yourself?”

Sasuke’s expression runs black at that. Not the infuriated sort of dark that deprives a man of reason. Not the disbelieving sort that inspires despair either. Rather, it’s the empty kind of black that comes over a person’s face when there are simply no thoughts to be had, no emotion to fill the yawning empty left behind. In that, Rin knows he has just knocked Sasuke as far as he possibly could to the arena’s edge. If it wasn’t for the very fact that Sasuke had him locked in some sort of genjutsu, Rin could have landed a killing blow. 

At least, he’s convinced himself of that much. Nothing is ever that easy with Sasuke, though.

Instead of entertaining that thought further, Rin settles for the opening he’s just been granted. The smile over his lips regains its confidence as his eyelids fall to half-mast once more. They’ve all been trained since they were young that a shinobi would do what had to be done to finish out a mission successfully. The older you got, the deeper you got, the more you learned that such thinking involved a rather wide variety of tactics – some more distasteful than others but pride tends to have very little room for dissent when it comes to mission success. Rin doesn’t consider seduction one in his personal arsenal, but if there had been anything to last night, then it is something he could use right now. 

On his own terms, that is. 

He sets his head back against the tree, ignoring the full ache that had settled with all the dead-weight of a stone cast into a pond at the base of his skull. Breathing is easier now, a little less of the cutting desperation jarring his lungs and heart. With normalcy setting back into his pulse, he can finally see the darkness in Sasuke’s gaze starting to morph, coalescing into something almost readable as his thoughts start sequencing in fine working order once again. 

“Last night, we talked about some things. . .” Rin begins, testing each word against Sasuke’s expression. When little changes in the way Sasuke looks at him (and Rin gets the distinct feeling he’s being analyzed like some new poison Sasuke has yet to comprehend the composition of), he continues on, pulling intent into every syllable. “We talked a lot actually. At least more than I thought you ever would, even if it was mostly bullshit and more of the things we could have been doing. . .”

Something shifts in Sasuke’s gaze then, a pale flicker of anticipation. Or so Rin likes to believe (and it’s the wrong moment for it, but Rin is starting to realize that he likes to think and believe a lot of things when he’s alone with Sasuke now). For all he knows, it could have been the first flames of irritation just waiting to burst into something horrifying and likely painful if Sasuke’s last actions had proven anything.

“So, how about we make that deal, Sasuke? If I can get you to break your genjutsu, I earn my ticket out of this grove. . .”

“And you really think you can do that?”

Rin is grinning now. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m pretty damn good with my mouth.”

* * * *

The idea had been simple enough, one that is all too often employed by nin trying to stall an opponent - an infinite loop of action. Had Rin not recognized the set-up, Sasuke had had every intention of letting him wander about the grove, weaving about the forest until he ultimately found himself right back where he had started. It’s a relatively low-level genjutsu, broken out of easily enough.

Except when Sasuke is the one involved. 

And that is where he let his reputation do what it does best – vilify, terrify, distort. Sometimes, the monster rumors made him out to be won half the battle for him. He hates it, honestly speaking, but it remains a useful tool. After all, being a ninja often has more to do with how you manipulate the information at your disposal than any jutsu tactics wielded. 

Though it’s true enough he had added a small layer to the genjutsu he had crafted today, which Rin had accurately pointed out. Namely, he had _fucked_ with Rin’s senses. Just enough to make second guessing easier for the mind to rationalize. 

_Just how deep had he woven this illusion? How many layers are left to be revealed? What ultimately is the best move to make now that I’ve been caught?_

Sasuke imagines those are the questions running full tilt through Rin’s mind. But rather than trying to escape from his captor, Rin has chosen something entirely different. Something he could not have afforded to consider had Sasuke not made the grand mistake of sleeping with him in the first place.

And that. . .that is far more amusing a response than anything Sasuke could have dreamed up. The sheer audacity of it is the only reason he is willing to play along with the idea of it – to think that Rin would use something that could have been construed as nothing more than a one-night stand and try to twist it into something more meaningful. . .

Only, Sasuke gets the distinct impression that Rin actually _believes_ that part. About the meaning such a night could have had. He’s a shit liar as far as shinobi are concerned, that much Sasuke has learned. Far too much emotion at play, and Sasuke wonders if he really has the capacity for deception like so many others in the village. Naruto is the same way, though he tries to hide it at times. They both try, but neither of them seems capable of ignoring their hearts. 

Oddly enough, Sasuke finds that strikingly painful to witness. 

But right now, Rin is looking at him, full of burgeoning want, and it’s making Sasuke reconsider Rin’s potential talent for deceit. Maybe not in the current situation, but another time, another place, another person, such a look could prove a beautiful downfall for the one receiving it. 

“I did say there were other ways to shut you up,” Sasuke muses, quiet as he leans in and tilts his head for lips to meet Rin’s ear. “And you seemed rather keen on the idea. . .for another time if I remember correctly.”

Rin shudders against the tree. Despite himself, Sasuke can feel the first prick of desire in his core. Not enough to dispel the genjutsu or destroy his hold over the other shadow clones he has chasing down Izumi, but enough to make him question his own feelings in the matter. Perhaps, not so much his own feelings, but rather the memories his body seems determined to rile up. He hasn’t actually come to regret last night. Not just yet. 

“I couldn’t go giving it all away, Sasuke,” Rin murmurs. “Had to make sure you wanted to keep coming back and all.”

Rin sounds a lot more confident in that than Sasuke knows he truly feels. He had caught the smallest flicker of doubt in his eyes as he had spoken those words, the uncertainty of his own position when it came to Sasuke’s thoughts on everything they are, everything they could be. Honestly, who the fuck started thinking things like that after one night in someone’s bed anyway?

Sasuke huffs out softly, making sure his lips continue to brush against Rin’s ear with every breath, every motion to speak he makes. As painfully amusing (and he has to think of it as such otherwise the comparison will only piss him off irrationally) as the idea had been, Sasuke knows Rin isn’t like others in the village, who harbor grand illusions about who he could be if they manage to wrangle him into some sort of relationship. He’s too honest for those sorts of intentions, thinking nothing of how he can use someone like Sasuke or the Uchiha name. Rin had had a burning clarity in his gaze when he had looked at Sasuke – last night and right now.

It’s a look Sasuke knows far too well, stained bright and blue and unrelenting. 

“Maybe all I wanted was a decent fuck,” Sasuke counters, monitoring Rin’s reaction from the corner of his eye. 

There’s the hint of flinch at his words, the smallest downturn of Rin’s lips before confidence comes soaring back in to bolster Rin's spirit. It settles along the curve of Rin’s mouth, the smile far too gentle for what the moment should have commanded. As if Rin knows he might very well be hurt in ways beyond what his body has already endured, as if he can’t accept anything other than the possibility that that might not be the case. A stupid, honest willingness to try despite the damage sitting poised to carve havoc over his heart. 

“No, you didn’t, Sasuke,” Rin offers softly. “If that’s all you wanted anyone in the bar would have done for you. . .you would have been looking for the opportunity. But you weren’t. . .”

Sasuke had thought to set his teeth to Rin’s neck just then, to remind him sharply of their positions. Instead, Rin’s words leave him strangely bereft of any desire to harm. He stands there, his grip still ironclad over Rin’s wrists, his lips parted in mid-act, and then he starts to laugh all over again. A mere whisper of sound, but unmistakable. 

He really, really hates Matsuouka Rin. 

“Who’s the real asshole here?” Sasuke asks, his eyes meeting Rin’s as he pulls his head back.

“Still certain that privilege belongs to you.” Rin is grinning at him, unrepentant, his gaze far too warm for what the situation calls for, and it leaves Sasuke wondering if ANBU really is the place for someone so heart-driven. 

“Hmph. . .asshole,” Sasuke mutters.

When Rin starts laughing, it reminds Sasuke of the wind – unbridled and absolutely fearless – and he cannot help but be baffled by it. Or rather, it’s not so much Rin that’s led his thoughts to confusion but his own actions, because if he had never let Rin close in last night, he would not be standing here now against an opponent with tactics Sasuke has never had to rightly counter. He had tried, once, back when he was thirteen and swallowed by rage and hate and defeat, and he had failed miserably in the rain-soaked attempt. And he had tried again when he was seventeen, and it had left him without an arm and a place still to call home. 

Now at twenty-two, he’s standing here again and he has no idea how to counter the idea that someone yet again could be so blatantly stupid about wanting him in their life. Especially not someone who has lived off of the idea of him for years and has seen through more of him in one night than most of the village has during his entire life span. 

And it’s Rin, who is saving him from himself, when he speaks again, nudging Sasuke’s thigh with his knee in subtle reminder.

“Maybe, yeah, but I’m still the one stuck here until I break your illusion.”

Sasuke drops his gaze, watching as Rin’s knee continues to nuzzle his thigh. It’s becoming a rather. . .vexing action. Particularly when coupled with thoughts of the night before. 

“If this wasn’t me here with you, you would probably be dead several times over by this point,” Sasuke states, his words slow and measured. It’s a fair point to be made, one he hopes to use to remind himself of the task at hand.

“Maybe,” Rin replies, giving his best attempt at a shrug, “but I’m here with you and right now it’s keeping me alive.”

Before Sasuke can counter, Rin is pulling himself forward, shoulders straining against Sasuke’s grip, to claim Sasuke’s mouth with his own. It’s a brief kiss, though the intent is clearly defined, and Sasuke can feel the faint stirrings of arousal yet again as Rin pulls back ever so slightly. 

“If you wanted me dead, well, here I am, Sasuke.” It’s a sultry murmur, placed softly against his lips, in a kiss that’s not quite a kiss but threatens to become one fully founded if Sasuke only begged for it.

His grip loosens, leaving Rin’s hands to their own devices as Sasuke leans in and takes what’s being offered rather than asking for it. Perhaps, if Rin had been a different sort of person, he would have taken this chance to gut Sasuke where he stood. Instead, Sasuke finds a hand at his belt, loosening its hold around his waist; the other has somehow made its way to the side of his neck, fingers curving gently to brush at wisps of dark hair. 

It will take more than this to cause his control to waver. Sasuke is confident in that much. As simple as pulling himself in two, letting his body react as naturally as it would in midst of a fight, while his mind races, laying dozens of tracks to guide his battles along. If anything, this is a chance to test himself in an arena he has yet to try himself in, or so he tells himself, quietly in the back of his mind. 

It has nothing to do with the way Rin had looked at him, or the way he had spoken, or how he could rouse that ravenous ache in his core, all reminding him of just how starved he kept himself. 

How utterly deprived he is because of all the things he believed he could never have. 

Rin’s hand slips below the waistband of his pants. Fingers trace the outline of his cock, semi-erect at this point, as Rin’s mouth curves with a wicked smile against his own lips. Sasuke can practically taste the idea of victory sitting on Rin’s tongue, just waiting to announce itself the minute he’s hard and straining against Rin’s ever teasing fingers. 

For the moment though, they’re silent. Which is more than Sasuke ever thought Rin could be at a time like this, because his mouth had run on endlessly the night before, words spurred on first by nerves, then by desire. Rin had a comment for almost everything, an answer for every taunt, every cutting word Sasuke had sought to give. And he had done it effortlessly, as though the minute Sasuke had undressed he had also cast aside the heavy press of his name and all the rumors and expectations that sniped at him from its coattails, leaving him nothing but a man ready with want. 

And he hated that Rin could make him want. 

It’s not that this is the first time Sasuke has lost himself to his own desires. In that, he could be as human as the rest of the world, only perhaps a little more tightly regulated on the who and the where. But it had been months since he had even considered indulging in such an act, and far longer since he had ever thought there could be something like a lover. . .

“You must really like me. . .” Rin taunts quietly against his lips.

He sounds so damn pleased with himself, and it has Sasuke cursing the very idea of taking on someone like Rin as anything remotely close to the concept of a lover. But there’s no denying the reason for the way pride rides along those words, not when he’s hard under the press of Rin’s palm and all he can think of is the promise of that mouth around him.

Sasuke breathes out through gritted teeth, eyes flashing bright with the Sharingan fully intact. His own answer to Rin’s goading. 

“Didn’t you say something about that mouth of yours or do I have to find some other way to shut you up?”

Rin is laughing against his lips, pulling a lazy kiss in its wake. Once, twice. . .Sasuke almost wishes for a third. 

Almost. 

But then Rin is dropping to his knees, after carefully guiding Sasuke’s leg from between his own, and pulling his cock from beneath the fabric of his underpants. With one hand, Rin wraps fingers firm around the base, then casually cups Sasuke’s balls. Not at all like an afterthought, however, because as his mouth closes around the head of his cock, his fingers start to work in rhythmic fashion. 

A tremor rocks its way down his spine, forcing Sasuke to plant one hand against the tree trunk to steady himself. Every part of him wants to look down, to see Rin as he starts to take him in full, but he knows better than that. Because he can’t afford to give Rin his full attention, even as every flick of his tongue, the light touch of his fingers urges Sasuke to abandon all hope of resistance and instead give in to everything Rin is offering him. 

It’s a devil’s promise, gilded and bright and everything he thinks he could possibly need, offered by a man more angelic than hell-bound. Even if the way Rin’s mouth is working around his cock tells him that Rin is most decidedly not heaven-sent. It’s a far better way to fall than every other way he had tried throughout his life, at least that’s what pleasure seems to enjoy telling him in this moment. 

Pleasure enjoyed a lot of fucking things. And Sasuke can’t help but think he’s a little late in coming across this particular brand of knowledge.

Rin has him full in his mouth now, tongue flat along the underside of his cock, and as he hollows out his cheeks, Sasuke can barely stifle the moan in his throat. The sound of it has Rin smiling around him, as he pulls back slow and practiced along his length, his hand riding up behind. 

Somewhere, Sasuke can still feel the information flooding in from his clones. He hasn't stumbled yet in that part, but. . .but. . .

 _Fuck_.

Rin’s lips are wrapped around the head of his cock, sucking with steadied rhythm, and his hand continues to pump along Sasuke’s shaft, far too slowly to be called comfortable. Not that it doesn’t feel good, but rather that’s precisely where the problem lies. Sasuke wants more, and he knows that Rin is waiting for it. For that moment when Sasuke drops his command and simply accepts defeat in the most satisfying of endings. 

The alternative – namely stopping everything right here and now – is utterly bleak. Absolutely and irrefutably non-negotiable. 

His lips begin to curl in the smallest of smiles, acknowledging his own mistakes and harboring no sorrow for them. As Sasuke drops his head, eyes focus on the sight of Rin below him, of the way his mouth forms a perfect ring around his cock, at the eager concentrated look in his gaze as though Rin has forgotten that this is all about surviving a test and not about bringing Sasuke to complete, mind-wiping release.

Sasuke lowers an arm, letting fingers rake through Rin’s hair. At the touch, Rin glances up, momentarily surprised but quickly regaining the ground he had nearly lost as he fixes his gaze on Sasuke and slowly moves his way back down to the base of Sasuke’s cock. He continues like that, slow and contained in his movements, and with it Sasuke can feel his breath starting to hitch erratically in his throat. When Rin pulls back to flick his tongue against the head of his erection, Sasuke knows the only victory left for him here rests solely in Rin’s surprisingly capable hands. 

His eyes close, fingers coiling around red strands; hips press forward just enough to indicate what’s desired. And Rin doesn’t fail him, taking him whole once again, and this time working steadily with the pumping of his hand. Sasuke knows that when he opens his eyes, it won’t be the Sharingan staring down at Rin, just as he knows that Rin is already aware of the concession. 

Sasuke can feel it in the way Rin’s been pushing him towards orgasm.

When he comes, Rin swallows him down entirely. Almost. There’s an exhalation below him, followed by the smallest laugh-stained cough. As Sasuke opens his eyes, it’s to the sight of Rin sitting back on his heels, smiling like a fool, his breath running almost as ragged as Sasuke’s own. Pulling his fingers from the mess of Rin’s hair, Sasuke moves them lower, running a thumb along Rin’s lower lip. 

“Do you always make a mess of this. . .”

Rin is still grinning up at him. “Don’t tell me I’m getting deductions for that.”

His heart is still hammering in his chest, a snowstorm in the spring, and Rin’s grin is just a little infectious. Sasuke sets his forehead to the tree, encapsulating Rin below him. 

“You could use a little work on your technique,” Sasuke offers, breathless, sated. It’s the worst position for him to be in right now. 

At that, Rin’s look sours, miffed in all the ways he believes himself rightfully supposed to be, but he’s not able to hold it for long. A breath, and he’s grinning again, self-satisfied. “Good enough to get you to drop your genjutsu. . .”

“Good enough,” Sasuke echoes.

* * * *

By the time they arrive at the tower, all but four others had made it back. Sasuke’s clone had already driven Izumi to defeat, a mock battle that had ended with her own probable death. Genji is sitting off to the side, back against a pile of stone rubble with Akamaru’s large head resting in his lap. Sasuke assumes Kiba had managed to get the better of him, but true to their natures no hard feelings seemed to be casting dark skies above either of them.

All in all, it appears to be the expected results. 

At least, as far as appearances are concerned. Rin is moving easily through the crowd, having detached himself from Sasuke as soon as they entered the clearing. The assumption would be that Rin had lost his battle as well, in one form or another; Sasuke would offer up something different on the final report, excluding a few choice details. But that is how this typically went, unless there had been some grievous failure to uphold ANBU expectations. While all of them were highly skilled nins, they still required training to elevate themselves to reputation ANBU held and that is where Sasuke and rest of them came into play. 

In the end, it’s no different from when they were genin. Regardless of the mission grade, their lives would always be put on the line every time they accepted the terms; no matter how easy the task seemed, there exists far too many unknown elements in their world to believe everyone would always come back safe and sound. 

Thinking on that, Sasuke can’t help but wonder why he let himself follow Rin down the path he had set for them in the forest. On the one hand, it had been everything protocol would fail him for as a mentor. On the other hand, the very idea of death potentially sitting behind every mission packet all but supported the decision he had made – live while he was still capable of doing so, through every choice no matter how good or bad. 

And what Rin had offered him hadn’t been all that damning. 

“Hey, Sasuke. . .”

He turns his head just in time to catch Kiba pulling to a rather abrupt halt, his nose set to the air. He inhales several small sharp breaths, confusion muddling his expression briefly. Then came the faint curl of his lip, a flash of something known but unspoken in his gaze, and it suddenly, violently irritated that absolute hell out of Sasuke. 

Damn that mutt and his animal-keen senses. . .

“Don’t –“

But Kiba cuts him off with a wave of his hand and a grin that looked ready to leap right off of his lips. “Don’t you have something you want to say to me?”

Sasuke narrows his eyes, mouth pulling to a tight line. It’s the closest thing to a free pass he’s going to get from the likes of Kiba, and Sasuke knows better than to forsake that. He exhales, pushing his way forward until they are standing hip to hip. Sasuke tips his head, watching as Kiba’s grin cuts ever wider across his face, and finally retorts, “ _Fuck off, Kiba_.”

As he walks away, it’s to the sound of Kiba howling with laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again with my personal endeavor that is turning into a bigger monster than I thought it would be but I hope at least some of you are having fun with it!

“So. . .?”

Kiba is sprawled out along the length of the bench across from him, legs crossed at the ankles, a finger idly running up and down the side of his mug. He’s downed half the beer already, his second since they arrived at this little hovel of an excuse for a restaurant. It’s more of a bar, really, that just happens to serve a mismatched assortment of things to eat. Not something Sasuke could have called a collective menu, but he would rather not think about the topic at all– particularly the suggestive bits like how _The Water’s Edge_ isn’t just a name but advertisement for where exactly their food is pilfered. 

Not that he has anything against fish as a food choice, whether center-pieced showcase or simple appetizer, but after two days of lingering in the town and staring down the odd florescent green that shimmered over the lake’s surface, any prospect of a meal being pulled from its depths leaves him skirting nausea. Sasuke imagines it’s why they settled on drinking instead, the menus left untouched at the edge of the table and not a word otherwise. If nothing else, there would be plenty of street food to satisfy their appetites on the way home, all of which had looked infinitely more promising than anything this place could use to tempt them.

“So. . .?” Sasuke echoes as he stares down Kiba, eyebrow lifted. He’s been trying to put off the topic that has been jumping around Kiba’s head like a gazelle amped up on amphetamines, but in his current lockdown situation, Sasuke is coming to the depressing realization that he won’t be able to avoid it for much longer. 

"So," Kiba punctuates firmly.

There are far too many things he can see coming, just like those words poised on Kiba’s tongue, but it’s a rare problem when he can’t find himself an appropriate escape route. In an effort to salvage some semblance of fortitude, Sasuke takes several long second-sparing swallows of his own drink. Like everything else today, it has a bitter edge as it goes down. 

The corner of Kiba’s mouth twists upwards, a mere notch but not to be missed by the likes of Uchiha Sasuke and his impossibly acute gaze. Kiba runs his index finger down the side of his mug one more time, flicks away the condensation from the tip, then wraps his hand around the handle. Before taking a swig, he shrugs, his eyes locked on Sasuke’s just over the rim of his drink.

“You gonna tell me about the kid or am I supposed to sit here and pretend like you aren’t fucking around with him?”

Sasuke’s eyebrow arches a fraction higher. This is the precise conversation he had been putting off - for the last ten days no less. In that time, their ANBU recruits had undergone their final assessments, each passing though none had ever really been in question. Additionally, they’ve had several other training sessions packed into the last week, along with one protracted meeting four days ago – protracted because Kakashi yet again managed to find himself a slanderous thirty minutes late. 

Late because rather than having to set forth the schedule for the next week of training, which was to entail light scouting work, they had instead been issued a mission. Kakashi had apparently spent twenty of those thirty oh-so-late minutes arguing against the decision to turn newly inducted recruits out into the field. In all fairness, Sasuke couldn’t rightly chastise his commander for actually making the logical call in trying to stave off what he could only a label a rather poor judgment call. . .even if it had ultimately resulted in failure. 

Well, a half failure is probably the better way to put it. Small victories could be won when it came to the Council, at least when the appeal proved decently appetizing. It is why Sasuke is sitting here now with Kiba serving as replacement for Izumi when he should have been back home sorting out his own recruits. 

“Here we are in the middle of a mission and you want to ask me about Matsuouka Rin. . .” Sasuke lets the words jump from his tongue, sharp and calculated in their descent. 

“Look, you already have him named!”

“He was named well before he ever got to me.”

“I had a name too but I’m pretty sure you called me dog or some crappy variant of it for the first six months we were together.”

Sasuke can’t help but smile at Kiba, the curve of his lips slick as a knife’s edge. “Don’t tell me you’re still bitter over that?”

“Maybe I am, but I can let that all go if you tell me about this guy you’ve suddenly got your eyes on. . .” 

Kiba’s gaze hasn’t left his, not once during their exchange, and it’s the one thing Sasuke knows well when it comes to the man sitting across from him – he’s set his teeth in and has no intention of releasing him. Not without a fight, one which is more likely to leave Sasuke bruised and bleeding just as much as Kiba. He is admirably, if not frustratingly, persistent when he’s got the scent of something that interests him. Be it mission or strictly personal.

And when it's personal, the vast majority of the time it’s simply a fucking pain in his side. 

Sasuke leans back in the booth, dropping his gaze to his own half-empty mug. A sigh slips past parted lips, acquiescence defining itself in the sound. Across the table, Kiba starts to laugh, low enough to court a small growl of pleasure. There had never been any mistaking Kiba’s emotions, not when he paraded them like a flagship in all the little ways that would have gotten a lesser nin killed by now. 

If he has to admit it, Sasuke would say he’s almost fond of that aspect. Because it has pissed him off almost as many times as it has saved him from himself. Seeing, _hearing_ that sort of openness somehow brings him back to his better senses when he needs the reminder the most. Because sometimes, the sound of his own thoughts, his own feelings could be as deafening as a hurricane’s torrent and just as blinding. Sometimes, they’re enough to make him think it’s all too possible to drown while perfectly afloat.

“Have you slept with him?”

And then there are questions like that which also remind him that it seems entirely possible to drown in your own drink. He’s halfway through another long gulp when Kiba asks it, and it takes every bit of his finely honed survival instincts to make sure he swallows first - esophagus not trachea - before snarling in shock-struck irritation. 

“Well, that’s a yes. Were you sleeping with him before this whole ANBU business?”

Sasuke coughs quietly into his mug, his eyes narrowed to slits as he glares over its rim at Kiba, who for his part looks beyond pleased with his interrogation so far. It gives him the distinct feeling that he’s only playing cobra to Kiba’s mongoose.

“No,” Sasuke growls out. The word echoes harshly over his drink, almost luring a flinch from his shoulders.

This time, it’s Kiba who is lifting an eyebrow in question. “No? So, you started sleeping with him in the last two weeks then. . .”

“I slept with him once –“ Kiba cants his head, a smile challenging that statement and Sasuke is yet again damning every ounce of the other man that is canine. “- _once_.”

Kiba gives a low whistle, then a shake of his head before he downs the last of his beer. With a smack of his lips, he sets his mug on the tabletop, far too quietly, and tips his head towards Sasuke. “I can’t believe you fucked a recruit on his test day. In that godforsaken forest even. . .”

Sasuke can’t tell if Kiba’s reaction is out of admiration or admonishment, though neither is warranted because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. _Mostly._ At least, Sasuke is hoping the promise of death held in his gaze is enough to convince Kiba of that fact. But on the odd chance (and it’s really not so much odd but rather a horrible guarantee because this is Kiba and like Naruto he generally needs to see it to believe it) that Kiba would rather continue to think otherwise –

“I didn’t _fuck_ him in the forest.” 

Even if Sasuke does remember that morning all too clearly, just saying something alluding to even half the truth of that statement is enough to make him want to cringe. For all that he may be or is thought of to be, Sasuke can admit that the decision he had made that morning hadn’t been his brightest, but like the vast majority of his life, hindsight proves a real bitch when reviewing his actions. 

Needless to say (and he’s not about to go freely admitting it), he’s not especially proud of that moment. However, he’ll be damned if he’s about to let anyone call him out on it either. Not when he can still clearly remember the look in Rin’s eyes, the one that told him that his actions that morning had nothing to do with his recruitment or what the Uchiha name meant and instead had everything to do with the promise of _next time_. 

It’s one thing not to be particularly proud of something, but an entirely different thing to be actually ashamed of it, and that Sasuke certainly feels nothing of the like. If offered the chance again. . .

“Okay, so you didn’t fuck him. But you weren’t exactly playing righteous examiner either,” Kiba says, a smug taunt of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. “You can’t fool me, Sasuke.”

“Can’t I?” 

It’s a statement left better by the wayside than tossed center of the road before the likes of him. Like a crash just begging to happen, where only one of them would be walking away from it unscathed. They both know the implication of such words, and Sasuke is ready to turn this entire thing around. . .

Except Kiba is grinning at him now like he’s the one who has sprung the trap and all the masterful plans Sasuke could have laid mean nothing in the face of it. 

Pushing his mug to the end of the table, Kiba sets both forearms against the worn wood and leans into them. “You can’t. Not with _that_. . .because I know exactly how good you smell when you’ve been satisfied.”

Sasuke feels his heart stumble, as though Kiba’s words had been more accusation than truth. He refuses to back away, however, instead keeping his position at the table’s edge, his hand wrapped loosely around his mug, his eyes staring down Kiba’s with all the disaffected darkness he can muster. It’s a moment though before he trusts his voice.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Kiba nods, a soft hum rising warm from his throat. “I do. And that has nothing to do with what I’m asking you right now. . .”

“And what exactly are you asking me, Kiba?”

The bar is incredibly loud around them, shouts and laughter clouding the air, but in the back corner where they are, closed in by the wood of the walls, the high-backs of the booth, it feels horribly, soul-scarringly quiet. Sasuke catches the faint scent of oil on the air, something fried and unappetizing, along with the thicker scents of liquor and smoke, but even he knows that none of that has anything to do with the way his stomach turns in on itself, as if trying to escape its own hunger. Silence like this is killing, stifling and impossible to escape. 

“He’s bright, and I don’t just mean smart. . .And he’s loud and confident to the point it might almost kill him one day. But he’s got decent enough talent to back up some of it at least. And he’ll develop that more. . .he’s not anywhere near done yet. . .”

Kiba is staring up at him, watching him for all the subtle betrayals Sasuke knows are starting to pile up against him. He hasn’t looked away, not yet, but even if he wanted to stop Kiba, there are no syllables waiting on his tongue to chain themselves together and give voice to the desires he wants to make known in that moment. Simple ones – like telling Kiba to shut his fucking mouth and keep it that way. Because what does Kiba know about him. . .

. . .only Kiba knows far more than anyone else could boast of, save perhaps Naruto and Sakura, when it comes to who he is. Four years together in a place as unforgiving as ANBU would do that you. And Sasuke hates that more than he hates the fact that he is sitting here on the verge of hearing something he doesn’t want to acknowledge, and knowing precisely why Kiba would put it out there before him, like a heart dissected and pinned and presented for the study. 

_Here is everything that keeps you alive._

“But he’s also foolish and idealistic and talks of a game he has yet to approach being prepared for but you and I both know he’s going to go for it anyway. And that’s where the appeal lies, right?”

Sasuke swallows and it feels like he’s taking down his would-have-been words in pieces, all splintered and jagged and tearing at his throat. 

Kiba’s voice softens considerably then, understanding in ways Sasuke wishes he wouldn’t be. “All I want to know, Sasuke, is that you’re seeing Matsuouka Rin and not something else in your head.” 

When he exhales, it feels heavy and hot. His thoughts, momentarily stilled by Kiba’s voice, have burst into a frenzy of action, tumbling up and over, tangling with one another until Sasuke isn’t sure where he wanted to go with any of it, is left with a million Gordian knots and no way to unravel them all fast enough. But he does know that his heart has started hammering, making his lungs ache for want of breath, and that it is only control born through an almost ritualistic discipline that keeps any of it from being noticeable to the world around him. 

And he knows, with dreadful certainty, that Kiba sees the chaos he has incited the moment their eyes meet, and it has Sasuke smiling in that godawful manner of the wretched. 

He tips his head back, lifting a hand to run it through his hair. His gaze never strays from the man across the table. 

“You’re a fucking asshole, Kiba.”

Kiba is smiling back at him, solid and unmoved but the furthest thing from callous Sasuke has ever seen him be. “There’s the kettle for you. Damn shame we’re friends. . .”

Letting his gaze drop to his mug again, Sasuke feels his heart settling even though the pain seems nailed down to his chest. The world has gone silent around him, none of the laughter, none of the clinking of glasses or the ear-piercing screeches of chair legs across wood. None of cacophony of thoughts echoing in his mind like too many instruments playing all at once, each carrying their own tune and screaming to be heard. There is nothing but silence. The corner of his mouth shifts, just a little, struggling to make itself a smirk. 

“I see him, Kiba. . .” Sasuke states quietly. “I know who I’m looking at.”

Kiba grunts as he pushes himself back from the table. 

“The next time you tell me that try looking at me as you say it.”

A jolt rocks Sasuke’s shoulders, putting steel into their carriage, and his head snaps up, eyes narrowed dangerously in warning. It’s visceral, the way his gut twists with blossoming rage, fire and ice and everything set to kill on the spot. When he opens his mouth next, his voice has gone murderously flat. 

“Our target is about to move from the bar. You had better get going.”

Kiba’s smile doesn’t relinquish its hold over his lips, but he’s sliding out to the end of the bench with a dismissive wave of his hand nonetheless. He rummages in his pocket for a few seconds, the fumbling no more than a feint as he watches the man in question work his way towards the front door. Pulling out several large coins, he sets them on the table’s edge, then leans in, taking Sasuke’s chin in his hand and swiping his thumb along lower lip.

The look Kiba gives is far too fire-fueled for an innocent goodbye, but does nothing to erase the chill in his own gaze. Initially, at least. Sasuke catches the eyes of a few of the bar’s patrons drifting in their direction, some curious, others desirous. It had been that way when they had entered, seems they would leave that way as well. 

“. . .I’ll see you back at the hotel, sweetheart,” Kiba calls out, loudly enough to make his claim known. And all Sasuke can do is smile as he watches him go, looking as fond in his farewell as his training will allow him to be.

*****

“You realize, now that it’s come to this, we have no choice but to fight.”

Rin’s grin is wide, battle ready and willing, his eyes flaring with excitement. It has been far too long since he’s felt a thrill like this. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. Prepare yourself for a loss!”

“Big words. Hope you have the luck to back them up tonight.”

Stretching out his hand, fingers curled in a loose fist, Rin gazes up eagerly at the man before him. “I’m gonna make you eat that statement, Sousuke. Now, let’s do this! Loser picks up the tab for the next stall!”

A minute and two winning janken-pon hands later, Rin is watching as Sousuke waves off his loss with a flick of his hand and an order for two chicken kabobs in his head. The street is crowded, but even so, it’s difficult to lose Sousuke amidst all the people milling about, browsing various food options or considering which bar to frequent next. Not when he stands a good head taller than most of those around him, but even more than that, it’s the way Sousuke carries himself, his hands tucked easily into the pockets of his pants, shirt sleeves rolled the elbow with the barest peek of a mesh undershirt beneath, the low slope of his shoulders all too relaxed. The sight is enough to put a worried edge to Rin’s smile. 

Because there are things he wants to tell Sousuke, things that protocol demands he sever before any such information passes over his lips. Thoughts run down and callously butchered before they can ever see the life they might have had. But, he’s known what sort of actions ANBU would require of him, and it is enough that he’s been allowed to stand here at all, watching as his best friend meanders through a crowd after yet another janken loss, as though nothing were out of the ordinary. 

When Sousuke turns back towards him, Rin has wiped the concern from his expression, letting genuine warmth filter into his gaze like the last rays of sunlight through a window. Sousuke gives him a momentary lift of an eyebrow, at which Rin shrugs, letting his smile push aside whatever questions Sousuke might have had. 

He had forgotten just how well Sousuke had known him. 

“Don’t think I’m going to lose next time.”

“Talking yourself up now?” Rin takes the proffered kabobs, balancing them precariously between his fingers while he sorts out his grip. “That won’t be enough to scare me.”

Sousuke laughs quietly at that. “I see your new job hasn’t done anything to deter your confidence.”

Rin grins around the bite he’s taking. He swallows it down first, before waving the stick at Sousuke’s face, a smirk sitting cocky at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, well, when you get someone like Sasuke to acknowledge you. . .” – Sousuke blinks down at him, causing Rin to falter for the smallest of seconds – “. . .pretty big deal right?”

“You’re with that guy?” Sousuke’s voice has dropped, a knife-point edge to it. Rin doesn’t miss the burgeoning hostility nor the way the green of Sousuke’s eyes has deepened, as it always had when any number of scalding emotions started to flare up. 

Instead of replying immediately, which is what he wanted to do just as indignation said he rightly should, Rin leans into the wall behind him, letting the shadows of the casino’s eaves engulf him. People continue to drift along the street, carefree as any tourist would be on a night breaking as beautifully as this one is. Above, Rin can already start to count the stars, the sky dyed a brilliant royal purple as the sun settles behind the horizon. Sousuke watches him, shifting his weight from right to left, his gaze unrelenting. 

Rin exhales softly. “You know, Sousuke, he’s not everything the world makes him out to be. . .”

“He betrayed the village. . .”

Kabob waving in front of Sousuke’s face once again, Rin interrupts. “Then he came back and has been working for the village for the last four. . .almost five years. You can’t go around holding a grudge about it forever. It’s not like he didn’t have his own circumstances either. . .”

Sousuke’s lips pull to a thin, bloodless line, and all Rin can see in the white of them are the ghosts still haunting Sasuke’s reputation. 

“Are you going to make excuses for him then?”

“What?! C’mon now, I’m not making any fucking excuses for anyone! But unlike you, I’ve actually been getting to know the guy, so maybe I have better information to base my opinions on instead of a bunch of rumors running about the village.”

“Are you. . .” But Sousuke doesn’t finish the question. He turns to look out over the crowd, his gaze focusing in on one small group of kids bouncing around a goldfish booth. 

“You going to finish that?” Rin prods around a mouthful of food.

Sousuke simply shakes his head, his shoulders dropping low as the fight flows out of his veins. Rin has seen the sight enough times to know that whatever it was that had grabbed Sousuke by the heart had let him go, and there is no amount of goading he could do to drag that fight back out of him. In fact, Rin would rather not try. Not now, not in this place.

Still, he exhales heavily on the next breath, unable to crush the odd feeling of defeat that’s settled in his gut. He’s never liked leaving things unfinished between him and Sousuke, but it’s not like it could be helped. 

“How are those kids of yours doing?”

A peace offering.

Life floods back into Sousuke’s lips, turning them pink once again, and with it his features slowly, carefully start to soften. The smallest spark of a smile lights up his face, honest and affectionate, and it has Rin smiling in return. For all his hard angles, Sousuke has never been anything but kind at the very core of his being. It’s something he has continued to love about his best friend.

“They’re good,” Sousuke starts, the smile brightening up his words for all their softness. “A lot better than we ever were at that age, but I have the feeling they’ll prove a decent handful once they get settled with one another.”

“What has it been – two weeks now since they were assigned to you?”

“Yeah, just about. I didn’t think they would go giving me one just yet though.”

“Seriously? You were one of the best from our year! And you’ve been a chuunin for longer than most. There’s nothing surprising about it!”

“Says the guy who had ANBU looking for him.”

Rin laughs quietly at that, turning the kabob stick in between his fingers. “They would have been after you too if things had gone differently.”

“Maybe,” Sousuke offers, nostalgia softening up his gaze further. 

Rin has always thought it a bit funny, how even sadness could turn a person’s gaze almost warm. He imagines it has to do with whether it’s been accepted or not, becoming more a part of who that person is than something that tries to rail against it. 

“But I think you’re going to do a lot of good for those kids. They couldn’t really ask for a better teacher. . .except for me maybe.”

“Asshole.” 

But the word sounds sincere in its fondness, and it has Rin smiling all over again. Sasuke had sounded like that, after the second round in his bed, when he had been struggling with the desire to sleep, limbs heavy and heart lightened, and everything Rin had never thought he could be. Rin had considered it worth taunting him in those moments, and Sasuke had struck him dumb with the easy release of his words, the liberty his lips took over his skin, asking for nothing more than the right to be as he was.

“I hope you’re not using that sort of language around the kids, Sousuke.”

“I reserve that for you, Rin. Since you deserve it the vast majority of the time.”

“Heh. . .I’ll let that slide. Because we’re friends and all, you know.”

“How fortunate for me.”

Rins sets into the second kabob at that, deftly balancing the other emptied stick between his middle and ring fingers. Besides him, Sousuke has settled in, his shoulder to the wall and his gaze fixed on his genin team as they fidget over whether to go another round of goldfish diving or not. It’s almost enough to make Rin forget that he’s out here, in the middle of some Mizu tourist trap during a mission because this very sight before him is in jeopardy. 

“Hey Sousuke. . .”

“What is it?”

Rolling across the brick wall so that he can face Sousuke properly, Rin wages an argument with himself over how – or most importantly _if_ \- he should proceed with his initial thoughts. He breathes out slowly, lets a cautious smile take his lips.

“They’re good kids, right?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Sousuke is looking at him now, eyebrow raised, eyes growing dark as they try to pick apart all the things Rin isn’t going to say.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just. . .make sure you keep ‘em close on the way home, all right?”

Sousuke says nothing, absolutely nothing, and it makes Rin feel like he’s made some sort of fatal error in his calculations. Just as he’s about to try and rectify his mistake, Sousuke is shaking his head, smiling easily in return.

“What sort of leader would I be if I couldn’t keep a bunch of genin in line?”

It’s things like this that make Rin realize how much ANBU is missing out on not having someone like Sousuke in their ranks. Even if that’s a decision Sousuke made years ago, all his regrets swallowed, his injuries scarred down to fine silver lines. 

“Besides, I’m not sure what you’re doing worrying about my teaching abilities when you’ve had a woman staring you down for the last five minutes.”

“Huh?” This time, it’s Rin’s turn to entertain surprise. 

Across the street, there is in fact a rather pretty young woman looking in his direction, black hair tied up in a neat ponytail and trailing down to mid-back, athletic in figure with a skirt short enough to tempt a few daring dreams, her eyes dark but flaring bright as hellfire. Rin can’t determine whether she wants to devour him whole or burn him on the spot. Honestly, it’s a rather fine line as far as he’s concerned, and just as he’s about to turn to Sousuke to try and scheme up an escape, he catches the brief flare of red flickering to life in her eyes. There and gone in the time it takes his heartbeat to stutter over the sight.

“ _Shit_. . .”

Sousuke is laughing, deep and amused, beside him. “I didn’t think it was that bad for you.”

Shaking his head, Rin pushes away from the wall, a smile half-skewed across his face. “You have no idea, Sousuke. No fucking idea. . .”

“You’re actually going?” The words come out faster than Rin had expected, lightning-struck with shock. Not that he can blame Sousuke entirely on that. 

Rin waves a hand above his head as he steps into the first swell of the crowd. “Can’t have her causing trouble for me later, right?”

“Rin!”

“Later, Sousuke!”

He doesn’t turn back as he lets himself succumb to the swirl of activity in the streets, and instead fixes his attention on the sway of hips, the trailing edge of a dark cloak as the woman slips into a nearby alley. All Rin can think is that he’s sinking further into the darkness on the heels of some stunning wraith of a being, that the prospect of being devoured is still very much alive, and how that thought alone doesn’t scare him in the least.

****

“You know, you make a really attractive woman. Actually, it should be damn illegal how good you look no matter what you’re playing at. . .”

It had taken Rin almost three minutes to catch up to him, in part due to the crowd and its constant state of flux but mostly because Sasuke needed some place more secure to sit himself down than some bench tucked between food stalls and all too open for the viewing. The alley he had finally found himself down, one street over from the main thoroughfare, was secluded enough to let him drop his genjutsu but near enough to still keep tabs on the commotion of the streets. 

And now, he is sitting there, steeped in shadow and straddling a set of stacked wooden crates with Rin leaning over him. Close enough that Sasuke can feel the heat of his breath over his lips, can all but taste the grin cutting clean across Rin’s face. It’s enough of a scene to deter anyone from interfering haphazardly.

“Oh? So, which is it you prefer then, Rin?” Sasuke asks, his voice low but lacking any of the desire their current positions would indicate warranted. 

He feels the laugh far before the sound of it hits his ears. Sasuke glances up, catching Rin’s gaze and the excitement dancing bright and unbridled within it. 

“About that. . .I prefer you as I’ve always known you, and –“

Rin stops rather abruptly, his head canting to the side, confusion taking control of his grin and twisting it into something warm and malleable. Sasuke is certain that should he blink, the curve of those lips would be offering him something entirely different in the next second. 

“Have you eaten?”

“ _What_?”

“I thought that was a pretty straight forward question, and I really thought that look I was getting five minutes ago was all about you wanting something from me, but. . .”

“. . .But?” Sasuke echoes, searching Rin’s face for the answer that seems far too slow in coming.

Pulling himself to his full height, Rin runs a hand up the back of his neck, grinning a fool’s grin and looking all the happier for it. “Pretty sure I was hearing something like your stomach. . .weren’t you supposed to be at some bar with Kiba?”

A scowl manages to find Sasuke’s mouth. “I was. The target moved on and now I’m here to collect you.”

“Still didn’t answer my question.”

“How is that even important?”

“How do you plan on being useful if you pass out from hunger?”

Sasuke huffs out, nearing exasperation. “No one passes out from missing a meal!”

“We’re not making any further moves tonight, right? I mean, not unless Kiba indicates those guys are on the move sooner than you predicted. . .”

Rin is still grinning at him, his eyes glowing brighter than smoking coals. He looks like a kid who has just been unleashed on summer break, full of life and promise and ready for the reckless brand of freedom afforded only by youth. It’s enough to make Sasuke nearly groan, mostly in lament for the fact that he’s technically responsible for any lack of judgment Rin might have at this moment.

Not that he really has any room to fault when it comes to recent choices made. If anything, he’s worked his credibility on that into a rather fine knot, which he currently does not have the time to tackle, because Rin is there, already leaning back on his heels, plotting something stupidly wonderful.

Because that’s just how Rin seems to go about these things, and Sasuke can’t seem to bring himself to hate it enough to stop him.

When Sasuke doesn’t offer up an answer, Rin begins backpedaling towards the alley’s mouth. “I’ll be back in five minutes! Just sit there, okay?” he calls out, laughter trailing after his words. Seconds later, he’s gone.

Sasuke is left cursing, mostly himself but partly the situation, under his breath. He has a fairly decent idea of what Rin is getting himself up to and it seems pointless to incur any semblance of fury over what inevitably would be a rather minor incident in the grand scheme of things. Hindsight, remember? 

So, he sits there, occasionally tugging the hood of his cloak lower, suppressing his presence with all the talent he knows he has for it. That’s the thing about reputations – a lot of people you would rather not know you suddenly do. He has traveled throughout the Land of Water’s territories often enough with Suigetsu to have spread his own well enough, as though the War itself hadn’t managed to make his name along with Naruto’s as commonplace a topic as _what’s for dinner_. 

Speaking of food -

It’s the scent that has him reacting first, hot and savory, spiced in all the ways that has his stomach trying to tear itself out of his body. Sasuke remembers Naruto telling him about something like that, how there’s this frog that can vomit up its own stomach turning it inside out. . .though Sasuke is pretty certain that had something more to do with ingesting something poisonous than some amazing way frogs could take in their meals. Why he's suddenly recalling such nonsense now is beyond him. Sasuke shakes his head, hoping to dislodge the memory, and finds the job done for him by the sight of Rin, smiling down at him bemused, with outstretched arm. In his hand are several wooden sticks skewering roasted meat and vegetables, none the same as the others.

“This one place just a bit back had the best of them,” Rin offers with a tip of his hand, encouraging Sasuke to take a least one of the kabobs. 

Sasuke huffs out softly, letting amusement settle into the sound as he reaches up and takes the two left most sticks. One is mostly vegetable with small still smoking meatballs tucked in between; the other has larger hunks of dark meat that crowded out what few slivers of pepper and tomato managed to squeeze themselves in between. 

“Thanks. . .”

Rin blinks down at him then breaks into laughter, looking as pleased with himself as a cat offered the largest bowl of cream it could possibly imagine. The sound does as much to warm Sasuke up as the first bites of food searing his tongue. 

“Yeah. . .no problem.”

They remain there, soaked in silence and the scents of smoke and spice, for several minutes. It’s the most comfortable thing Sasuke has experienced in days. As he tosses one cleaned stick into a empty box across from him, Rin shifts against the wall beside him and nudges at Sasuke's elbow with his knee.

“Slide over. I’ve been standing around for the last four hours. . .”

He says nothing, but Sasuke does scoot over, offering Rin enough room for them to sit back-to-back on the crates. Rin leans against him, easy and fearless. It takes Sasuke several seconds to pull the rigidity out of his spine and relax against the solid form behind him.

“This isn’t so bad. . .”

Sasuke tips his head back, nibbling at the last bits of meat still clinging to his remaining stick. “What are you talking about now?”

“I mean, this is pretty much like our first date,” Rin follows up, the words cautiously set into the air. Testing and waiting ever so expectantly for a response. Like hoping the match you just threw into the firepit doesn’t end up with the whole house burnt down. 

“. . . .this is a date?” It’s the only thing Sasuke can think of to ask. Because the idea had been so far out of his field of vision that trying to comprehend it now is no better than trying to make sense of Naruto’s boundless enthusiasm. . .or a guy who seems insistent on romance in the middle of a mission.

Even if this is technically down time. 

“Well, it’s probably as close as I’m going to get given the circumstances, but why not? We have a few hours for ourselves right now, and this place has plenty of good food. The night is warm, and there are a million stars up in the sky for viewing. . .it’s pretty good for a first date,” Rin answers, still with that trepidation gilding his words but trying his damnedest to sound confident despite it. 

Sasuke can admire that at least, the audacity of it. He lifts his gaze to the sky, the thin cut of it he can see from down in the alley. 

“So, you’re saying that night after the bar isn’t first date material?” 

“No!” Rin suddenly pushes himself away from Sasuke, leaving him falling back into the space stretching between them now. 

Catching himself on his elbow, Sasuke looks up at Rin, noting the way his cheeks have darkened. Sasuke can’t help the smirk scratching at the corner of his mouth, just waiting to carve itself into something wicked in its victory. What had started as a simple tease has certainly gotten him a rather. . .interesting reaction.

“That was – we did things a little out of order, okay?” Rin’s eyes no longer hold Sasuke’s gaze, instead darting off to the side, scouring his now empty kabob sticks as though they might offer himself something worth hanging his self-confidence over just so he can visualize it. “Typically, you go on a date first. You maybe go for dinner or drinks or a movie and then you part ways and maybe you get a kiss. You don’t just start in someone's bed. . .”

Sasuke feels the corner of his mouth twitch, that smirk manifesting itself beautifully. “You’re strangely romantic for someone that had been so desperate to get himself into ANBU. . .”

“That has nothing to do with the proper order of things!” 

Rin is wonderfully exasperated. In that moment, he looks all too human, with everything that defines him as a death-dealing nin deconstructed and leaving him sitting there, dyed in all the colors that emotion could use to make a person strikingly alive. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes blazing. A little indignant, a bit embarrassed but conviction holding him firm in his seat. 

It is more than enough to stifle the breath in Sasuke's throat. 

Reaching up, he lets fingers ghost along Rin’s jawline. “So, we’re doing this in the proper order now?”

“If. . .if that’s what you want. . .” And there, the smallest touch of petulant hope. 

“I killed three people this morning,” Sasuke starts quietly, the smirk dissolving into a smile, uncertain. “And you want to sit here and tell me how proper courting goes. . .”

“You killed them to keep Sousuke and those kids safe,” Rin counters quickly but quietly. “And they got to enjoy tonight and they’ll wake up tomorrow because you made sure of that.”

Sasuke shuts his eyes with a small huff. Above him, the world suddenly grows darker, warmth closing in on him as Rin sets his hands to either side of Sasuke’s head. When he looks up once more, it’s to find Rin hovering over him, studying him as carefully as he might a new technique.

“I know there is blood on your hands, Sasuke. But because of you, Sousuke and those kids didn’t have to get it on theirs. . .isn’t that why we’re here?”

“I thought I was here so you could give me lessons on proper dating.”

Rin snorts at that, lips twisting with a smile that doesn’t know whether to be amused or repulsed by the response. Pulling his hands away from Sasuke’s head, fingers lingering just long enough to brush the hair from his eyes, Rin moves to stand up.

“You’re an asshole, you know that. . .”

“I thought this ended with a kiss.”

“I’m saving that for date two. Proper order now, Sasuke!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after weddings, work stuff and the holidays, finally the next chapter! For those tagging along on this endeavor of mine, thank you for reading into this new year!

The view remains more or less as he remembers it. Same sprawling village with its odd and at times garish assortment of colors splashed across the buildings, the uneven line of rooftops, wire strung with lanterns spanning between them, just now flickering to life. The areas that had been destroyed during Pain’s attack had been reconstructed, creating one seamless life-bubbling scene below. It’s only when he started walking around the streets that he could see the scars - the bricks that are a bit too new, the paint that is far too bright, the sign that hadn’t been updated since he was a child suddenly overhauled into something bigger and brighter and promising even better than before. But from up here, everything looks as if time hadn’t touched this place, still the same Konoha Itachi had known, the same Konoha Sasuke had once vowed to destroy.

The same one he has now promised to protect. All for the sake of – 

“Tell me you brought that for me.”

Sasuke finds himself smirking, gloating really, as he seats himself on the edge of a desk, careful as always not to disturb the piles of papers that look voluminous enough to fill a grave. He holds out his arm, plastic bag dangling from his fingertips and emitting the faintest aromas of pork and miso. 

“Tell me you didn’t forget to eat lunch again, moron.”

“Maybe?” Naruto laughs, sheepish, as he scratches at his cheek. “I seriously meant to! But then Tsunade called me in and kept going on and on about that whole missing nin thing, which actually means I can blame you for not eating lunch because I’m pretty sure she only started in on that because you just got back to the village. . .”

“You’re not blaming your failure to exist on a basic human level on me.”

Naruto blinks before laughing once more, and it sets something loose, fluttering light and well-known, within Sasuke’s chest. Only this time, there’s this quiet pinpoint ache that comes with it, one that Sasuke has no intention of defining at this moment. Not when Naruto looks so genuinely pleased, not when he –

“Welcome home, Sasuke.”

\- not when he says things like that that somehow manage to crush his heart and fill it with hope all in the time it takes for those blue eyes to crinkle with the joy of a smile. 

Sasuke breathes out, letting the shake take the sound instead of cascading down his still outstretched arm. “I’m back. . .Naruto.”

The smile turns into a fully-fledged grin at the returned greeting. Naruto steps forward, taking the proffered bag from Sasuke’s hand, then heads over to another smaller desk that isn’t quite so choked with scrolls and paperwork. He pushes one pile aside, brushing the desktop with the sleeve of his jacket, before setting the bag down. 

“Sasuke, look – “

“I’m already there, idiot.”

And he is, leaning over the edge of the desk he had taken to sitting upon and reaching into the first drawer on the left. The one that has about as many pens as it does mismatched chopsticks. Sasuke chooses the brightest ones he can find – neon orange and an almost vomit-inducing bright green – and holds those out for Naruto. For himself, he chooses the closest within reach, one a muted sky blue with a chip on the side and the other a dark red that toes the line of brown more than the vibrant crimson it had probably once been. He shuts the drawer with a rough shove then moves over to the window. 

Naruto is already seated just beneath it, holding out the second bowl of ramen for Sasuke. 

As he takes the bowl, Naruto smiles up at him. “We’ve done this way too often if you know where my secret stash of chopsticks is. . .”

Sasuke scoffs, lips pulling to a mildly amused smile, as he seats himself beneath the window as well. Their elbows brush together as Naruto looks for the first bite he wants to savor, pushing aside a fish cake in favor of poking at a slice of pork. Sasuke watches his knee listing closer and closer until he suddenly bumps it against Naruto’s with a smirk. “There’s nothing secret about it. They’re in the same damn drawer as your writing stuff.”

“Yeah, but they kinda look like pens so you can get mistaken. . .” Naruto counters, eyeing the sliver of meat he had selected.

“Only you would make that mistake.”

Naruto sputters, nearly dropping the half-bitten pork into his lap, and sets Sasuke with a death-glare over the sacrilegious event that had almost taken place. It has Sasuke smiling, wide and unrepentant in return, before he slurps up a noodle with just enough relish to make Naruto grimace.

“Asshole.”

“Moron.”

“You know you don’t get to call me that once I’m Hokage,” Naruto says as he pokes petulantly at a fish cake.

Sasuke laughs despite himself. “I’ll be sure to address you as Idiot Hokage then.”

“Fine! Then you’re ANBU Asshole!”

Before Sasuke can counter, Naruto is leaning over and stealing a slice of pork from his own bowl with the biggest victory-trumpeting grin plastered over his lips. It has Sasuke laughing all over again, this time throaty and heart-felt with his head back against the wall and his gaze lingering on Naruto as he devours the product of his thieving efforts. 

“I’m pretty sure you and Kiba started calling me that right after I joined ANBU. . .so no points for creativity.” Sasuke dips his chopsticks in his broth, then flicks the liquid at Naruto. “And if you’re that starving just say so.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that,” Naruto mumbles as he licks the broth from his lips. 

“But you still keep me around.”

An odd silence sets in after that, sudden, and it robs the mirth from Sasuke’s thoughts, leaving his throat feeling caked with mud, his voice stuck. Naruto prods at his noodles. 

“Yeah, I know. . .but I need you, Sasuke,” he says, quietly, a fragile smile sitting tentative on his lips. “The village needs you. . .and if I’m going to be Hokage. . .”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s the surest thing Sasuke has felt he’s said all day, even after his meeting with Tsunade this morning where he recounted all the necessary facts of their mission and there had been no room for deceit or second guesses over best intentions. Sasuke knows it as he knows that he is the last of his line to carry the Sharingan, as he knows that Naruto loves pork in his ramen, as he knows that there is darkness still in this world and someone has to be there to navigate it. 

Just like he knows that the odd pricking pain in his heart as Naruto tells him he needs him never once existed like this before but is changing, quieting, and he doesn’t want to think about why.

“Thank you. . .”

Sasuke clears his throat, nudging Naruto’s knee with his own. “Those nin, the ones Tsunade was talking to you about. . .she’s probably right about that. They should be classified as missing.”

Turning his head, Naruto blinks up at him. “What do you mean by that exactly?”

“Those guys we encountered on this last mission, every last one of them showed up on the roster of the dead from the War.”

“The reanimation –?”

Sasuke shakes his head. “No, they were definitely still alive. Somehow they managed to either change the necessary documents, or had some jutsu placed on an already dead body to make it look like them on the battlefield – no one bothered to run any tests to verify the dead if the bodies were identifiable on observation. . . .”

“Wait, Sasuke. . .”

And he does pause then, because the way Naruto’s eyebrows knit together, his ramen altogether forgotten in his hands, tells Sasuke that Naruto is untangling the threads and trying to figure out which ones are worth following. As his lips purse together and his eyes start to widen, Sasuke exhales then takes another bite of pork.

“Then that means. . .”

“One of two things – when the villages started coming together after the War a certain sector of them grew dissatisfied about their potential future and changed some of the documentation. . .or someone already foresaw what the War would do to the ninja world and made plans ahead of that to try and set things back,” Sasuke supplies.

Naruto is back to staring down at his ramen, a frown overtaking his mouth when the bowl fails to offer him any real answers. Or so that’s what Sasuke imagines as he watches the whole thing play out, though in truth he knows that is simply Naruto coming to terms with the gravity of the situation. The one thing Sasuke doesn’t see, however, is fear, and that has the fire sparking deep within his core.

“Still want to be Hokage?”

A smile tugs on Naruto’s lips then, emerging defiant from the frown. He maneuvers his chopsticks back into position and readies them to dive back into his bowl. By the time he turns to face Sasuke, the smile has spread into a grin, bright and promising. 

“Hell yeah I do.”

There is something terribly infectious in the way Naruto grins like that, with his eyes glimmering like blue foxfire, confident in the challenge and as fearless as Sasuke has always known him to be. It gets under his skin in the worst way possible, making him think bigger and broader than he’s ever imagined for a future he hadn’t even been sure he had wanted at one point in time. It has Sasuke smiling despite himself, feeling warmed right through and ready for the world. That look is the reason he is here now, when he could have been so many other places. 

“Good thing I’m sticking around then,” he says, watching Naruto from the corner of his eye. 

For a moment, silence settles back in around them, as if to seal the promise that had just been spoken between them. But just when Sasuke thinks Naruto will sink into it, returning to his meal and all the pleasure he derives from it, he finds him still staring. The grin retracts, slipping into something more well-worn, intimate in its understanding of the people they are.

“You have a lot of reasons to stick around, Sasuke,” Naruto says, quietly, knowingly. 

There’s something unstated, sitting there in Naruto’s gaze, and Sasuke knows not even the Sharingan could pluck those words out and put them into the air between them. Defined and undeniable. When Naruto had looked at him like this before, back when they were teenagers standing on opposite sides of what was deemed right and just, it had only left Sasuke feeling raw with anger. Like Naruto knew a whole world of things Sasuke could never rightly understand because he just wasn’t enough. Not strong enough, knowledgeable enough, worthy enough. Now though, he knows that look, how it tells him Naruto sees all the human in him and somehow still wants to be beside him despite it. 

It leaves him feeling horribly conflicted. Especially in this moment.

“You don’t owe me anything anymore. And you don’t owe Itachi either. . .”

“Naruto –“

“Hear me out, Sasuke! It’s not often we get to talk like this anymore,” Naruto pleads, just as quietly as before, but it’s the sheer sadness spilling into that last sentence that renders Sasuke’s words as useless as a thimble on his tongue. Naruto clears his throat before continuing, poking at his ramen once more. “I know the village still has some things to work through, and the Council is something else altogether sometimes, but you have a home here. . .you always have.”

Sasuke exhales softly. “Why are you telling me something I already know?” 

“Because sometimes I think you forget that. You talk about the village and what you will do to protect it and how you’re going to help me, but I never hear you talk of what you want here – “

“I have everything I want,” Sasuke counters, and he hates, absolutely hates, the way his voice has roughened, as though control has grated it raw over his efforts to keep the emotion out of this.

“Bullshit, and you and I both know that.”

A laugh comes out, more bark with the promise of a bite. “First Kiba, then you. Don’t tell me he already started in on you before this. . .”

“Not today, but we both see it. And so does Kakashi and Sakura.”

“What is the point of this, Naruto?”

“The point is – “ Naruto pauses, exhaling only to take in a long shuddering breath, steadying himself. “The point is, Sasuke, that we all want –“

Sasuke holds up his hand, smiling wryly at Naruto. “You can stop this.”

“ – to see you happy,” Naruto finishes, his mouth setting into a firm defiant line. “You came back here with this idea in your head about what you would live for but you kinda forgot yourself in that whole equation.”

“Are you done yet?”

Naruto’s mouth pulls tighter, enough that Sasuke imagines his whole expression just might snap on the next breath. And then, suddenly, it happens. Naruto is growling out, lifting his arm and with chopsticks in hand, starts furiously rubbing at the back of his head. “You’re fucking impossible, you know that!? I know you spent like half your life being a selfish asshole, but I’m just saying think about yourself for once, Sasuke!”

“That. . .makes absolutely no sense.”

“Argh! You’re the idiot! You really are!”

“What the hell, Naruto!? You don’t get to say shit like that and – stop laughing!”

But there he is, barely keeping his ramen bowl from spilling as his body shakes with the force of it. There are tears sparking in the corners of his eyes, his mouth open as the laughter continues to spill out, loud and harsh and so rocked with emotion that it becomes almost impossible for Sasuke to keep a straight face over it all. Not even his anger burns hot enough to sear the sight before him into some wretched aching wound. All it does is fizzle and fade like a fire doused too quickly, sputtering and crackling, smoke spilling thick into the sky until there is nothing left but the expansive view of stars above.

Reminding him that he is here. For all of it, he is here.

“I don’t know why I even bother to feed you. . .” Sasuke mutters, a touch sulkily, as his own laughter rolls to a slow, lung-draining end.

Naruto grins at him from the floor, where he had eventually rolled over on himself, his bowl set beside him, the chopsticks gripped tightly in his hand. His cheeks are wet with tears, but he looks satisfied and settled, completely and unabashedly open. 

“Because you give a shit, Sasuke, and you always have. You’re stupid even when it comes to the things you love, but that’s okay. Love and family . . .they’re supposed to be stupid like this.”

****

Rin isn’t sure what he expected when he set about this whole idea an hour ago, but now that he’s standing here with Sasuke propped up against the doorway to his apartment, _waiting_ , he can’t seem to find any plausible excuse for being here at all. He had one (honestly, he did), but right now his words have fallen away from his mind faster than hurricane rain and all he has done is stare for the last thirty seconds. At least he's trying to look sorry . .or helpful. . .or some combination of the two. Sasuke leans heavily into his forearm, his expression this odd indecisive mix of irritation and surprise that’s glossed over with the unmistakable signs of sleep-deprivation, and his hair is nothing short of a disaster, more so than usual at least, though Rin has to admit it’s got its own bit of charm. It’s not often anyone gets to see Sasuke completely disheveled.

Which is what he would like to blame for his lack of an explanation (he’s certain Sasuke had asked him for one over a minute ago), but that would have been a complete and utter lie, even if thoroughly convincing. If he wants to be honest, and Rin really prefers honesty especially in a world as tied up in deception of theirs tended to be, it’s not just the fact that Sasuke _actually_ answered his door despite the rather obvious fact that he had been sleeping, it’s that he opened the door looking like _this_ , that has Rin grasping for all those well-manicured reasons he had had for even showing up here in the first place. Wearing nothing but a pair of loose black pants, slung far too low over his right hip, and exposing all the various bruises and nicks that inevitably come from succeeding a mission, it reminds Rin again of just how human Uchiha Sasuke is. 

And how very badly he wants him. 

Rin swallows, offering up an apologetic smile along with the bag of groceries he had been carrying. 

“I kinda figured you hadn’t had a chance to get anything for yourself.”

Sasuke stares down at the bag, blinks once then twice, before looking back up at Rin. “You went grocery shopping for me?”

Sasuke’s words were just a bit slow, confusion dragging them down, and it makes the corner of Rin’s mouth twitch with the desire to smile. There’s something almost cute about this whole situation. That is if he ignored that throbbing ache in the core of his abdomen that reminded him he was only steps away from Sasuke’s bed, and how he had to go and say something ridiculous about the _proper order of things_ just days before.

Clearing his throat, Rin jostles the bag a little. “Just some basics! Enough at least for breakfast, to get you started for the day even if it is almost noon already. . .”

“So you’re here, bringing me breakfast at noon. Hmph. . .sure you didn’t get your hours mixed up?” Sasuke asks, with just the barest hint of a smile, and it all but has Rin dying a little on the inside. 

“Yeah,” Rin murmurs, trying to find something appropriate to say, “I mean. . .can’t have you starving and all like last time.”

“That was one meal, and I wasn’t starving.”

“Admit it – I totally saved you. Just like I’m saving you now. So are you going to move your ass so I can get inside or do you plan on flaunting yourself half-naked for all of Konoha to see?”

Sasuke huffs out, the confusion slowly fading from his eyes as he runs his gaze up and down along Rin’s figure, then pushes away from the doorframe to make his way back into the apartment. Rin can’t help grinning to himself, considering it something of a victory (or maybe just feeling grateful for the mercy a sleep-drugged Sasuke had offered him), as he steps inside. He toes off his shoes, then shrugs off his jacket one arm at a time, precariously balancing the bag as he does so. Sasuke reappears a moment later, no further dressed than he had been before but now with a faint sheen across his face.

“Feeling more awake now?” Rin questions, still grinning, still trying furiously to deny the fact that it should be a punishable offense for Sasuke to look that fucking good when he’s so deconstructed.

Sasuke simply grunts in response. As he disappears into the kitchen, Rin follows behind him. He sets the bag on the nearest countertop, but as soon as he slips his hand inside, fingers gripping a small carton of eggs, he finds Sasuke pressed up against his back. He sets a hand on either side of Rin, and Rin can’t help but watch the way each finger of Sasuke’s right hand sets itself down against the tiles with deliberate ease. One after the other until Sasuke’s grip is secured against the counter’s edge, leaving Rin with no room for escape. 

“Sasuke. . .” The name comes out softer than he imagined, lacking in all the iron of will and sounding more like permission being sought.

Behind him, Sasuke shifts, breathing quietly. Rin feels the faint brush of lips against the nape of his neck, has to remind himself far too quickly that eggs are easily crushed and then what would he make for breakfast. He doesn’t even know if it’s a kiss or the tease of one or something else altogether, but the effect is palpable enough, heat steaming his cheeks and putting the stutter into his breath. 

And then, Sasuke’s chin is resting on his shoulder, his head threatening to fall against Rin’s. “You should have let me sleep more. . .”

He’s laughing, loud enough for it not to be mistaken but softly enough to not disturb the way Sasuke has set himself up against his body. And as he laughs, he can feel Sasuke putting more of his weight against him, can hear the soft _tch_ that cuts over his tongue.

It’s a terrible thing. Honest and truly terrible. 

Rin abandons the eggs, pulling his hand from the bag and reaching up to ruffle Sasuke’s hair gently. 

“Eat first, then sleep more,” he murmurs, warm and affectionate, full of quiet wonder. 

He feels Sasuke stiffen slightly at his words, or perhaps at the way they were spoken, because what’s the harm in eating and sleeping, and it makes Rin think that maybe he overstepped in some way he shouldn’t have, but then. . .then Sasuke’s arm is sliding around his waist, his head burying itself into the crook of his neck, and all Rin can think is that Sasuke is far more exhausted than he’s let anyone believe, by things most people wouldn’t even know how to consider much less tackle. 

They stand like that for several minutes, Sasuke’s breathing heavy and worried and warm against his neck. Every so often Rin reaches up and tangles his fingers in Sasuke’s hair until Sasuke shifts again, pulling him in closer or finding another angle to set his head. And there are things Rin wants to ask, about how the meeting went or why Sasuke hadn’t slept enough since but he knows instinctively that this is not the time. So, instead, he frees himself just enough to turn about in Sasuke’s hold, just enough to find his lips and kiss him just deeply enough to let him know that he is here.

That he is still very much here.

“Go lay down on the couch for a bit. I’ll make breakfast,” Rin whispers against Sasuke’s forehead. “Gou said you liked tomatoes. . .”

“Gou?” 

Sasuke’s voice is deep, sleep-roughened with just enough surprise to tell Rin that he’s been listening.

“My sister,” Rin follows up, smiling. “She said Sakura mentioned it once. . .that you really liked tomatoes. Which has to be true because they were the last things you ate off of those kabobs.”

“You told your sister about me. . .”

When Sasuke chuckles, Rin can feel it tickling against his jaw. It has him smiling deeper, though the sounds sets off an ache in his heart that he can’t quite place. 

“Would you go back to sleep already?” Rin mutters, unable to keep the flush from highlighting his cheeks. 

Sasuke laughs again, soft but genuine, as he disentangles himself from Rin. He leaves Rin with one more kiss, letting the act drag out, a languorous open-mouthed indulgence that promised nothing more than satisfaction in the moment. As Sasuke heads off into the living room, Rin can’t help but touch his lips, his cheeks a furious red now, his heart beating erratically. 

In the moments following, he finds that Sasuke’s kitchen is almost brutally efficient in its organization. There is nothing superfluous, just the right amount of bowls, pots, pans and utensils to suit a bachelor’s needs. Everything has its place, in just the right location as to make the act of cooking itself as thoughtless as throwing a kunai at a target. It seems almost impossibly sterile to Rin even if he can’t help but acknowledge the stream-lined flow it supports as he puts together the meal. 

However, it’s only when the scent of eggs and vegetables sautéing infiltrate the air that the kitchen finally takes on the feeling of home, and Rin is left to wonder how Sasuke manages here at all. 

When he's finished, he makes sure the stove is turned off and the dishes are stacked neatly in the sink before exiting the kitchen, armed with food and drink. He sets the first plate on the coffee table followed by a glass of water and a small stack of napkins. Sasuke stirs slightly from where he’s coiled himself up on the couch, not even a blanket thrown over him, just an arm tucked under his head for a make-shift pillow. Rin pokes at his thigh with his foot, his own plate balanced over the flat of his hand. 

“Food, Sasuke. Time to appreciate all my hard work spent keeping you alive and well.”

From the couch, he can hear Sasuke stifle a laugh or maybe it was a growl. A sound of some sort, broken up before it became anything notable. Rin prods Sasuke again, and when he fails to sit up, drops right into the space left by the bend of Sasuke’s knees, using his legs as back support. Sasuke presses against him, but when Rin hardly budges, he slowly, carefully rolls himself over to face the coffee table, his eyes immediately finding Rin still tucked up against him.

“. . .smells good,” Sasuke murmurs into his elbow, looking oddly pleased despite himself. 

Rin grins down at him. “I’m not a bad cook, you know. Probably even better than you if your kitchen is any indication of your skills.”

Sasuke jabs a knee into Rin’s lower back. “You haven’t even tried my cooking.“

“Oh, so I get to have the great Uchiha Sasuke’s cooking now?” 

Rin’s grin is victorious, bright and unfettered and clearly so full of it that not even Sasuke can retaliate reasonably against it. Instead, he simply laughs, a short burst of it that dies down as quietly as it had started. 

“Roping me into another date?”

“Nah. I think you’re walking pretty willingly into it,” Rin laughs. 

Sasuke finally sits up, pulling his legs from behind Rin with one last parting nudge, then tugs his plate a little closer so it sits centered before him. He stares at it for a moment, mouth twisting slightly in some sort of half-grimace that Rin can’t decipher. Picking up the pair of chopsticks left for him, a slick black in color with a ring of red around the top, Sasuke purses his lips then starts poking at his omelet. 

“Have you gone on a lot of them. . .dates. . .?” he asks, and it could have been called nonchalant if not for the touch of curiosity coating the last word. Like the whole concept is some sort oddity meant to be picked apart until all its various components are as ordinary as the first pair of kunai they received as genin. 

Rin blinks at Sasuke, who is cutting out a piece of egg with far too much precision than should have been called for over such a dish. “I’ve been on a few. . .though it was all with the same person.” A pause as Sasuke eases the sliver of omelet towards the end of his plate, eyes still fixed relentlessly on it. “What about you?”

Sasuke’s chopsticks still against the plate’s edge. His lips purse once more, then he’s exhaling, long and slow and troubled. “Dates aren’t something I do. . .or did. . .”

The corner of Rin’s mouth contorts, incredulous. “Seriously?? Then how the hell do you fuck like. . .like _that_?” 

It comes out all sorts of wrong, but Rin can’t help it. Because he remembers all too clearly that night after the bar, and the way Sasuke could look at him like he was the sweetest dish he was about to savor. Or how he moved his hips with teasingly precise strokes, all the slow burn of a candle, and in the next minute, _bam!_ all hellfire and meteor-strikes, reminding him that there is always an end and sometimes you could welcome it with open arms. He almost regrets letting the question slip out, unchecked, until he sees the way Sasuke is trying not to laugh. 

“Oh c’mon, Sasuke!”

“It was that good, huh?”

Rin’s cheeks are flaring. He’s pretty sure a good percentage of his skin is actually scalding, turning into this lake of fire and embarrassment, and yet there’s Sasuke, look almost satisfied with himself. And his lack of dates.

“That’s not even fair!” Rin groans, dropping his head into his hands and wishing he could just turn into a pile of ash.

Only, Sasuke is really laughing now and it sounds perfect and warm and everything that drives Rin’s heart into a frenzy. He turns his head, just enough, to watch Sasuke over the outer edge of his left hand. He’s still laughing, more of a chuckle now, but there’s a brightness to his gaze and a smile sitting comfortably over his lips. It’s enough to make Rin ache with the desire to kiss him again, siren-red cheeks and all.

“We never dated, if you want to put it that way,” Sasuke starts, voice quieting and courting uncertainty. He pokes again at the omelet piece, clears his throat as the smile loses what little hold it still had. “It wasn’t ever going to be that and we both knew it.”

“Then why did you. . .?”

“Because he was there, and it’s not like I didn’t want him in those moments. We fumbled our way through a lot of it, but seems like I turned out okay for it in the end. . .” 

And Rin could almost punch Sasuke for the way he’s smirking. Because it’s so _him_ it’s almost infuriating, but before he can even think to lift his hand, Sasuke is talking again and it has Rin soothing his ego just so he can actually listen. 

“It’s not like we planned it. It all just happened one day and we. . .kept at it after that. But I knew he would want other things. . .” Sasuke’s smirk twists, like something heavy had just settled in, the weight entirely unexpected but carried without complaint nonetheless. After that, he simply shrugs and finally picks up the piece of omelet he had so neatly cut out. He pops it into his mouth, and after the third bite, offers up a mumbled _not bad_.

But Rin is just sitting there, feeling nothing of the satisfaction he should have derived from that concession and instead finds himself trapped by the darkness that had swept into Sasuke’s gaze. 

“Yeah, but what –“

“What about you?” Sasuke cuts Rin off, as though he had known what the question was well before Rin could have thought of it and wanted it buried as quickly as he had swallowed down the second bite of egg. 

For a moment, Rin considers digging up the topic, but there’s something in the way Sasuke is sitting there, eating like it is simply a task assigned to him (all ‘here is your target and these are your tools and don’t come back until the job is done’) with his shoulders slightly hunched and the scars glimmering silver over his skin. Like he hasn’t bled enough already. So, Rin sighs, pushing at his plate on the coffee table and trying to decide where to even begin.

“Me, huh?” he echoes. He falls back against the couch cushions, stretches his legs out under the table. “It definitely wasn’t like you. I mean, we started with the dating thing first. I don’t think we even kissed for the first three months. . .didn’t really tell anyone we were dating though so I think that was part of it. And like any teenagers we just. . .tried things. . .”

Rin can feel his cheeks heating up all over again. His hands are in his lap, fiddling aimlessly with the hem of his shirt, like it might save him somehow from having to talk about being young and foolish and oh so in love because that’s what everyone believes at that age. Even if he’s not that much older and still wildly uncertain that he has shown any growth at all from it. 

“Was he a teammate?”

“Yeah. We grew up together, ended up on the same team together. Thought we would get into ANBU together too, but he messed up his shoulder pretty bad when the village was attacked and got sent away for a while to heal up. It was after he came back that we got together. . .”

Sasuke’s hand stills over his plate. “So, why aren’t you with him now?”

This time, it’s Rin who is laughing, low and unbothered. “Of course you would ask that. We just. . .didn’t see things the same anymore. Sometimes, I think we were both in a bad place and being together seemed right for us at the time, but as we started sorting things out for ourselves. . .”

Rin shrugs, letting his head fall back against the top of the couch.

“We’re still pretty good friends though. It’s not like I hate him or anything.”

Sasuke huffs out softly at that, and Rin can tell he’s just a bit amused by the whole idea. 

“Is that all the questions you have about my past love life, Sasuke? Or do I need to sink further into this cesspool of embarrassment you’ve created for me?”

“If it was that bad, you wouldn’t have kept talking,” Sasuke taunts, finally turning to look over at Rin. 

“I couldn’t risk you doing some weird genjutsu to get the info out of me. . .I seem to recall you being possessive or something of the like.”

Instead of speaking, Sasuke ends up coughing over his next words, staring straight at Rin with all the intensity surprise can shock into a man when he’s caught off guard. And this time, when Rin starts laughing he doesn’t stop until Sasuke is leaning over him, pressing their lips together, while murmuring something along the lines of the best ways to shut Rin up when he’s getting far too mouthy for his own good. 

When he finally quiets down, Sasuke is sighing against his lips and Rin can see the exhaustion still sitting heavy under his eyes. He reaches up, running fingers through Sasuke’s hair. 

“You need more sleep.”

Sasuke hums in soft acknowledgment against the corner of Rin’s mouth. 

“Are you staying this time?”

Rin feels his heartbeat slam to a sudden stop, the flush hot again over his cheeks, and can almost taste the smile that leaps to Sasuke’s lips in reaction to it all.

“Is there a reason for me to?”

And Sasuke nods, gently, their foreheads brushing together, the smile still smug over his mouth.

“I don’t have anything for dinner.”

There’s a grin just begging to take over Rin’s mouth. 

“Oh, so I _am_ getting a date from Mr. I-don’t-do-dates.”


End file.
